


Motion

by lizwontcry



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-01
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2017-12-16 19:10:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/865563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizwontcry/pseuds/lizwontcry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard asks Penny to take care of Sheldon for the summer while he's gone, and after spending so much time together, Sheldon and Penny's friendship is tested, questioned, and strengthened. But something surprising is happening and they can't ignore it forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue/Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, friends. This has been in my head ever since the finale and I finally had to get it out. I'm not sure how many chapters there will be or how often I'll be updating, but it's going to happen and I hope you will dig it. As always I appreciate all feedback, good and bad, and I would like to thank my faithful beta Samantha. Thank you so much for reading, and rock on.

_Late August_

It's a blistering hot day in August and all they want to do is sit inside with the air conditioner on and ignore everything else going on in the world. They are, as usual, marathoning Doctor Who on the TV for background noise, but they're not paying attention to it. And anyway, Penny spent most of the summer getting an education on the show. At first she resisted, but Sheldon was patient and persistent. He wanted her to appreciate it as much as he did. And eventually, she couldn't get enough. It was just one of the many things they're sharing during the summer Leonard is far, far away.

Penny is flipping through Cosmo, glancing at the sex tips and soaking up the juicy gossip about Kim, Kanye and North West (really, who names their kid after a _direction?_ ) and drinking some wine. Sheldon is reading the new Walking Dead comic book. Sheldon's in his spot, Penny is curled up next to him in her "spot" that she has claimed over the years, even though Amy sits there now more often than not. Her head is resting on his shoulder. They are perfectly content; they don't even realize that just a few months ago, they would have considered this all very weird. But since Leonard was gone and she only heard from him maybe once a week, and since Amy had gotten involved in a new project at work (not related in any way with monkeys) and Sheldon barely saw her anymore, the two of them have been spending an awful lot of time together. At first Penny was annoyed with Sheldon's constant neediness, but after a while, she found herself enjoying taking care of him, just like Leonard asked. Sheldon was always so appreciative of everything she did for him. Not that he always thanked her out loud-he rarely did. But she saw it in his eyes. In the way he seemed to get so much joy out of teaching her new things and the sense of accomplishment she felt when she understood and saw that he was clearly proud of her. Even if he never said the words, "Thank you, Penny." And lately his (constant) questions are starting to get a little more personal than she expects from him. But that's a story for another time.

"Okay, switch," Penny says when she's done reading Cosmo. Sheldon rolls his eyes.

"Must I read this dreck that you insist on forcing upon me? I can already feel my brain cells dying and I haven't even started to read it yet. Like that romance novel you made me read last week, and both the first and second Miss Congeniality movies you made me watch."

"Come on, you know the deal. I read all that Stephen Hawking stuff, and learned all about the Higgs Boson and what you're doing with it, and I've watched so much Doctor Who and all the Star Wars movies in Blu-ray, and I feel like you can learn a lot from this magazine! And come on, you know Sandra Bullock is hot."

Sheldon just shakes his head, not wanting to dignify that with an answer.

"And, like, if Amy asks you to paint her toenails, after reading this Cosmo you'll totally know what color is in fashion."

Sheldon stares at her, his face recoiling in horror. She can't help it-she giggles. The thought of Sheldon painting Amy's toenails is basically the most ridiculous thing she can ever picture, which just makes her giggle more. Soon she's having a complete giggle fit, and Sheldon even cracks a smile at her humorous display. He begrudgingly takes the magazine from her and starts reading. Penny is happy; now she finally gets to read the issue of the Walking Dead he's been trying so hard to hide from her ever since she took him to the comic book store a week ago. It's just another thing they share now.

Penny tries to concentrate on the comic book, but not for the first time, she glances at his profile. Lately she's been wondering what would happen if she maybe nipped his ear a little bit. Or stole a tiny kiss on the lips when he was least expecting it. The most disconcerting feeling, though, was how badly she wanted to slip her hand in his and just sit there like an old married couple, enjoying each other's company and the solitude of just being together. And then she'd shake it off, because she loves Leonard and Sheldon is just his weird roommate that she's had to spend a lot of time with over the summer. Once Leonard gets back in a week or so, things will get back to normal. They just _have_ to.

Sheldon is trying to read Cosmo even though it's almost like the greatest torture he's ever known; but she asked and he wants to please her. He doesn't even know why he wants to please her, he just does. Maybe because she smells so lovely this particular evening. Even though he's always known that Penny has a pleasant scent, lately it's been lingering even when she's not there. He's not familiar with this feeling and doesn't really know what to do with it. So as usual, he ignores the whole thing.

Eventually the comic book and the Cosmo fall to the floor and Sheldon and Penny fall asleep to the comforting sound of the air conditioner. Her head is still on his shoulder, his arm is draped across her lap, and that's when the door opens and Leonard and Amy come strolling in, ready to reveal their surprise, the secret they've keep between the two of them for a few days now. Leonard hopes Penny will be happy to see him-they've had some friction ever since she happened to glance at his Facebook wall and see post after post from some Layla chick he was on the boat with-but he believes they can get past that. They're soul mates. They can get past anything, right?

Instead he sees his girlfriend basically on top of his roommate. For a moment, he and Amy look at each other and he knows her first instinct is jealousy, too. They can't help it; they're human beings, after all. But he knows Penny just kind of falls wherever she lands when she's tired, and Sheldon's probably been working a lot of late hours lately, and he understands. Or at least tries to. Amy seems to have been able to figure out the reasoning as well, because she clears her throat and says loudly, "Look who I found!"

Sheldon and Penny snap to attention. Penny wipes the sleep drool off her face. Once she is able to focus, she sees her long missing boyfriend standing in front of her. And finally, she shrieks and jumps up and into his arms. They share a long, weird, tension-filled kiss. Amy looks proud of herself. Penny pastes on a smile and says, "What a nice surprise! I wasn't expecting you for another week!"

Leonard wants to stop talking and sweep her up and take her across the hall and into the bed, but he figures an explanation would be nice, too. Sometimes he still had to remind himself their relationship was based on more than a physical connection. It was, right? "We finished our work early, and I wanted to surprise you. So I emailed Amy a few days ago and she agreed that it would be fun to show up unannounced."

"Of course! Oh, I want to hear all about your trip. Why don't you unpack and stuff and I'll freshen up and you can come over and tell me all about it?"

"Sounds amazing," Leonard says, and kisses her again. Penny tries as hard as she can to match the passion in his kiss, but it's completely obvious to everyone in the room, even Sheldon, that something is different and may always be different. Penny hopes that after a day or two, everything will go back to normal. Because she's not the kind of girl who can just go through the motions.

Sheldon watches as Penny and Leonard unhook themselves from each other. Leonard wheels his suitcase into his room. Amy and Penny giggle about something, probably some inane girl stuff he has no inclination to care about. As Penny opens the door to leave, her eyes meet Sheldon's. He doesn't know a lot about sarcasm or feelings or emotions, that much is true, but he knows Penny. He knows there's an interesting kind of wistfulness in her eyes. And as the door closes, he knows the nature of his relationship with Penny will be different now. After all the time he spent with her this summer, teaching her about the things he loved and wanted her to love, too (like Doctor Who), laughing with her, and talking for hours about their similar childhood in small towns while eating countless pizzas and the occasional special dinner of spaghetti with hot dogs, it was going to be rather inconvenient to get re-accustomed to life with Leonard.

Yeah, that's what was bothering him. That was all. Not that he already missed Penny's scent. Not that Amy's hand that was now grasping his felt all wrong. Not that all he wanted to do was go back to sleep with Penny's head on his shoulder. No, it was just the inconvenience of it all.

Before Penny goes to sleep, she sends Sheldon a text. _I'm going to quiz you on that Cosmo tomorrow. Don't think I'm letting you off the hook._

Sheldon sends back with the speed of light, _I wouldn't dream of it._

And when day turns to night and night turns into sleep, both of them have an aching yet hopeful feeling that nothing has ended, exactly. No, it has actually just begun.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N - It should NOT take as long to post the next chapter and I apologize for the long break. Vacations and other assorted things, you know how it is. Thank you for sticking with me and this story, I swear it will be a good one. It might take a few chapters to get going but there's lots of good things in store for us. Yay. So again, thank you for reading, thank you for the feedback, thank you to my beta Sam, and...rock on.**

_May_

After witnessing a miracle at Raj's, (he could talk to her without alcohol! After all these years!) Penny drove herself and a pouting Sheldon home. Normally Sheldon talked her ear off whenever she was driving, but on this particular night, they were both quiet. Contemplative. Perhaps even a little sad. When they got home, Penny essentially sleep-walked up the countless stairs and drifted to her apartment. Sheldon followed her, himself zombie-like, and opened his own apartment to a rare and unsettling kind of quiet he knew he may never get used to. Growing up, he had a very loud family and a very loud house. When he went to school, he lived in a noisy dorm. With Leonard around, there was always some kind of chaos surrounding the two of them. Now he was going to live by himself for almost four months, which was slightly terrifying.

Penny, however, couldn't imagine herself living with anyone, not even Leonard. She loved coming home and watching reruns of Sex and the City or Friends after a long day of enduring more Star Trek and Star Wars than anybody possibly needed or wanted to. After a double shift and another grueling, ridiculous day at the Cheesecake Factory, there was nothing she liked more than having a glass (or five) of wine and taking a long, steamy bath. But the night she dropped Leonard off, all she wanted was sleep. But she didn't cry. Penny wasn't really the kind of girl who cried over missing a boyfriend. At least she didn't used to be. Falling in love with Leonard was changing her, and sometimes she wondered if it was for the better or worse.

There was something else. A huge part of Penny was worried. She was worried that all the hard work and emotions and feelings she put into her relationship with Leonard would unravel while he was gone. Not that she wanted it to, but Penny knew a cold, hard fact about herself: distance did not make the heart grow fonder. She tried the long distance relationship thing a few times with no success. But maybe things would be different this time. After all, she _did_ miss Leonard an awful lot when he went to the North Pole, and that was even before they were going out. But somewhere in the back of her mind, she was nervous. What if everything changed before he got back? Penny had an uneasy feeling about the whole thing.

Meanwhile, looking at their empty apartments and pondering the lonely days and nights ahead of them, both Sheldon and Penny wondered if they should invite the other over. Just for one night. Just so they wouldn't be alone. It probably would have been nice, but neither of them made the effort. So in two apartments a few feet from each other, two sad people fell asleep, having no way to know that the answer to their questions were always right in front of them.

*****

Penny was sound asleep, still wearing her clothes from the night before, lost in a world of sleep and dreams and darkness. That all ended with those three damn knocks on her front door.

"Penny! Penny! Penny!"

Exactly how many times in her life was her precious sleep interrupted by this frustrating human being? Didn't he have someone else to bother this early in the morning? Her eyes tried to focus on the alarm clock next to her bed...it was only 8:15 in the morning. For a glorious moment, she pondered just ignoring Sheldon's obnoxious knocking, but this wasn't her first rodeo. He would only knock again and again, each time getting more and more desperate until he woke up the whole damn building.

She groaned and managed to force herself out of bed. Thrusting open the door, she croaked, "What the hell, Sheldon? What could you possibly want at 8:15 in the freakin' morning?"

Sheldon was holding his throat protectively, but he was in luck. She wasn't in a violent mood this particular morning.

"Penny, it's Friday morning. It's a day in which I have to work. My understanding is that you will be taking me to work."

Penny stared at him, her mouth open unattractively, completely speechless. When she finally managed to collect her thoughts, she said, "Are you kidding me, Moonpie? How, pray tell, did you come to this conclusion?"

"Penny, I have told you countless times to please refrain from calling me that. And I thought it was understood now that Leonard is not available, you will be his proxy for my ride to work."

"No. No way. You have a girlfriend, it's her responsibility now." Penny felt just a tiny bit terrible for throwing Amy under the bus like that, but it was true. Penny was not Sheldon's girlfriend, she never would be, and the woman who earned that title should be the one who drove his grown ass to work.

"As you know, Amy is working on using the SALL4 gene to fight cancer in humans. She's working with many different researchers and they're getting closer and closer to getting very good results. I don't want to bother her during this important time; I would expect the same of her if I was deeply involved in a project of my own."

Penny sighed. She was proud of her bestie for doing important work and all, but come on. "That's...great. Uh, what about Raj? Why can't he take you?"

"He lives on the other side of town; it would be rather inconvenient, don't you think?"

This made Penny chuckle. "Oh, sure, sure, _inconvenient._ We definitely don't want that. Well, what about Howard?"

"Howard has a different work schedule this summer, and besides, haven't you seen that man drive? I fear for my life when I'm in his car."

"Oh, and you feel perfectly safe in my car?" Sheldon shrugged. Penny knew he hated going anywhere in her car and he just wanted her to drive him because it was easier to go across the hall and annoy her.

And she didn't even bother mentioning the bus. It wasn't worth it. "Fine," she grumbled. "I have an audition in a few hours, anyway. I guess it would be good to wake up and prepare for it. BUT. I will not be doing this every single day, Sheldon. You're going to have to find someone else at least two or three days a week. I have things to do. Like sleep."

Sheldon nodded, but didn't look convinced. This was going to be a thing, wasn't it? Penny was already dreading the rest of the summer and it was just her first day without Leonard. Sighing, she put on a sweatshirt and some shorts and tiredly shoved her feet into some flip-flops.

"Well, are you coming, Shelly?"

*****

Sheldon supposed if he was going to count on Penny for rides to work and other assorted places during the summer (the train store in Malibu was having a special anniversary party in July!), he'd have to put up with her name calling and other abuses. While Penny drove him to work, looking pissed the whole way, Sheldon pondered getting an actual license and perhaps buying a car so he wouldn't have to depend on others all the time. But then he chuckled and gave himself a proper talking to about the dangers of driving a vehicle.

"What's so funny?" Penny grumbled, thankfully not bothering to look at him and instead keeping her eyes on the road.

"Oh, well, I was just noticing that your check engine light doesn't seem to be blinking today. I was chuckling to myself because you finally took my advice to take your vehicle to a professional maintenance establishment to get it repaired."

Now it was Penny's turn to chuckle. "No, actually it just burned out one day. Thanks for caring, though."

"Penny, really. I think we should take your car in for service at some point this summer, the sooner the better. I'm sure there are at least a few reputable mechanics in the greater Orange County region."

 _"We?_ You're just worried about _you,_ Sheldon. So if it's all the same to you, I'll drive my crappy car until the wheels fall off. I can't afford it, anyway. I really need to do well at this audition today; the Factory has been cutting way down on my hours lately."

Sheldon sighed. For some reason, he didn't like the accusation that he only cared about his own well-being. Sure, he was in fact worried about that, but the idea of Penny driving a car around town until the wheels came off was truly unsettling to him. Who would take him to the comic book store if that happened? And if something terrible were to happen to her, who would sing him Soft Kitty when he got sick? He didn't dare teach Amy the song. It felt wrong, somehow. And he preferred Penny's singing voice-not that he'd ever dare tell Amy that. Even he knew that was a death sentence.

"Yes, well, if you don't do as well as anticipated for your audition, perhaps I can help you with the costs of the repair."

They had reached a red light, and Penny looked over at Sheldon, smiling slightly. He always did enjoy her smile when it was directed at him, which it so rarely ever was.

"That's very generous of you, sweetie," she said, her voice soft and vulnerable for the first time that day. "But you know I can't let you do that."

"Well, of course you can let me do that. I know you don't want to be indebted to me, but aren't we past that social norm at this point in our friendship? Your vehicle has been on the verge of a complete breakdown for what, six years now? So stop being so stubborn and let me do this for you. I'll find a way you can make it up to me."

"We'll see," Penny said, and Sheldon let it go. He now had a new goal for the summer-get Penny's car fixed. He didn't really know why he was so determined to get it fixed, but it was going to happen whether either of them liked it or not.

A few minutes later, Penny pulled up to university and stopped to let Sheldon out. "Have a good day, dear," she said. "Do I need to pick you up later?"

"Raj said he has a few errands to do on our side of town after work and he will take me home today, thank you."

Penny smiled. "Great. See you later."

She was about to drive away when Sheldon said, "Penny? Good luck on your audition."

"Aww, thank you, that really means a lot to me," she said, and gave him her comforting smile again. He watched as she drove away, wondering why a simple ride to work was somehow so satisfying.

*****

On the way home, Penny put her radio on the pop station, turned it up as loud as possible, and tried to tune out the weird feeling that was starting to creep into her thoughts. She couldn't even identify it yet; it didn't exactly have a name or a rhyme or a reason. It had something to do with Sheldon, yes, but that's all she could come up with at the moment. He was so sweet sometimes, and it always took her by surprise. Amy complained so frequently about how he wasn't giving her the attention and affection she was always craving, Penny forgot what it was like when he did actually care about something other than his work. Interesting.

At home, Penny took her time getting ready for the audition. It was for some kind of sci-fi sitcom pilot for cable, which didn't exactly sound amazing, but the premise actually did look interesting. Penny was starting to get a little desperate, actually; she'd been in California for a long time and her acting career wasn't going as planned. Being a waitress for the rest of her life didn't exactly appeal to her. Sometimes she let herself ponder moving back to Nebraska. Her sister always needed help with the kids and her mom and dad frequently commented on how she needed to visit more often. Of course she'd miss Leonard and he'd be devastated, but she couldn't keep going to audition after audition without any kind of success. All the rejection was bad for her self-esteem, not to mention her bank account.

After making herself look as hot and presentable as possible, she left an hour early for the audition and soon found herself in a room full of Penny lookalikes. She sat down and read the script over again, making sure she felt comfortable with the part.

"Penny? Please come in," said a cute dude with glasses and interesting stubble. "My name is William Bailey, I'm the writer for Starlight City. As you probably know, this is going to be kind of a nerdy show with lots of sci-fi elements, but it's funny, too. There's not a lot of stuff out there like it right now, so hopefully people will respond to it. Anyway, you're auditioning for the role of Clarissa, a babe from space with all sorts of fun powers and abilities. Eventually you and the leading man will end up together, obviously, but first we have to build Clarissa a back story. Anyway, I just rambled on way too much. Let's read these lines together, okay?"

Penny nodded, smiling. William was young and cute and anxious for a hit, and she wanted him to succeed already. They read the lines together and Penny tried her absolute hardest to impress him. The lines were easy and they got through them quickly.

When they were done, William nodded approvingly and said, "Well, that was great, Penny. You can definitely expect a call from us soon. Oh, and here's more of the script for the pilot. I guess I should tell you that your character is part robot and has some pretty intense dialogues that may be kind of difficult to digest. Do you think you can handle it?"

Penny looked through the script and her heart sank. She'd never even seen or heard of most of the weird scientific words she was supposed to say. Of course. Of course her audition would go well and of course she'd go down in flames when it came to the scientific terms. Where the hell was Leonard when she needed him?

And then a light bulb went off in her head. Leonard wasn't the only man in her life who could help her with these words, these concepts. Maybe she could work out a deal with Sheldon. She'd cart his transportation-less ass to work every day if he could do this for her.

"I could totally nail this," Penny told William. "Piece of cake."

William grinned. "Perfect. We'll call you soon to let you know when to come in next. But if you get this dialogue right, I can tell you that you've got this part in the bag."

Penny couldn't help it-she jumped up and gave him a hug. William chuckled. She thanked him and practically skipped to her car. Sure, she missed Leonard and she was still dreading the summer without him, but things were looking up. And she couldn't wait to tell Sheldon all about it.


	3. Chapter 3

Penny stared straight ahead, chewing on a fingernail with one hand and the other hand on the steering wheel. She was glad Sheldon was consumed with the questions he was asking her instead of having a panic attack about her hand positioning.

"Okay, name the list of steps used to find a solution to a given problem."

"Um...oh, my god, I know this..."

"Penny, we went over this exactly 38 times last night. If you don't know the answer, I'm afraid there's no hope for you."

Penny exhaled. All she wanted to do was turn on the radio and tune out the loud, obnoxious, tall nerd who sat in her passenger seat, but she really did need to know the words she was about to say out loud at her audition.

"Algorithm," Penny said finally. "It's algorithm."

"Very nice. Now, who was the producer of the original Industrial Robot, and when and where did it occur?"

"Come on, you could have at least given me a harder question. Kawasaki, 1969, Japan."

Sheldon looked sufficiently impressed. "Well, I think that's it for now. From what I've seen this morning, you have adequately memorized all the words for your audition."

"Don't look so surprised. I am an actress, you know. I have to memorize things for a living."

"Like the dessert menu at the Cheesecake Factory?"

Fortunately they were at a red light, so Penny could safely look over and give him a withering glare.

At first, Sheldon didn't seem particularly anxious to help Penny for her audition. He remembered trying to teach her physics-they both remembered that cold, dark day. But after she casually threatened him with making him take the bus for the next three months, he had a quick change of heart. After all, he still couldn't find his bus pants.

The two of them had spent the last two days with Penny's script, going over every single word and definition and pronunciation, making sure she knew not just what she was saying but why she was saying it and how she was saying it. Penny needed this part. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that unless she got this role or another similar one very, very soon, she was going to have to face the decision of going back to Nebraska. She had done her best in California and now maybe it was time to revisit her roots. Maybe she could convince Leonard to come with her. Or maybe they could do a long distance thing. Although she expected to miss him like crazy while he was gone, Penny found that keeping herself busy and spending lots of time with Sheldon was helping the time pass quickly. So maybe a long distance relationship wouldn't be so...bad. It was just something she'd been pondering for a few weeks.

When they made it to the university, she couldn't help herself-Penny reached over and messed with Sheldon's hair before he got out of the car.

"Well, that was highly unnecessary, Penny," Sheldon said as he desperately tried to put his hair back in position.

"Sorry, sweetie, I'm just so grateful for your help that I had to show you somehow," she said, grinning.

"Well, a 'thank you' would suffice." Truthfully he didn't look _that_ annoyed.

For the second time that week, before Penny pulled away, Sheldon leaned into the car and said, "Penny, thank you for the ride, and I know you'll do well at your audition. You know the material almost as well as I do at this point."

Penny smiled. "Thank you, Sheldon. Have a great day at work."

Not that either of them knew it at the time, but they both parted ways with a strange smile on their faces.

*****

Sheldon's smile didn't last very long, however, because standing in his way was none other than Barry Kripke, and he was grinning from ear to ear.

Sheldon sighed. "What is it, Barry? I'm already running late and so are you."

"Relax, Cooper, nobody cares if you're three minutes late for the first time in your life. I'd rather talk about the smoking hot blonde who just dropped you off. Uh, wow?"

Sheldon was rather confused for a moment, and then it occurred to him that Barry was talking about Penny.

"Yes, Penny. I believe you've met her before. She was giving me a ride to work."

Barry whistled lewdly. "Leonard's girlfriend is taking you to work? What does he think about that?"

Sheldon looked confused again. "Why should Leonard care about Penny driving me to school? Is there some kind of social paradigm I should be aware of that makes it taboo for another man's girlfriend to drive me to work?"

"When the girl is that hot, yes, it's taboo," Barry said, chuckling. "I wish she'd drive me to work, if you know what I mean."

"But Barry, you have a perfectly acceptable vehicle in which to drive yourself to work," Sheldon said, about ready to give up on this pointless conversation completely.

"I'm just proud of you, Cooper. You went from tapping that Amy chick to getting it on with Penny. You're a dog! Don't worry, I won't tell Leonard that you're doing his girl while he's gone."

Sheldon was finally catching on to where this conversation was leading, and he wasn't happy about it. In fact, he was just plain pissed. He didn't like the way Barry was talking about Penny. For one of the first times in his life, he understood why men got in fist fights over women. Penny didn't deserve to be treated like a sex object, even though it was clear that many men through the years had done just that. Of course Sheldon thought Penny was attractive; he made that clear soon after they met when they played Halo together for the first time. But he never thought that was _all_ she had to offer. Yes, she was loud and she was always mooching their milk and Wi-Fi and she was pretty much the complete opposite of everything Sheldon stood for, but he never thought those were _negative_ things, necessarily. Just different.

"Barry, I am still 'tapping' Amy Farrah Fowler with an alarming frequency. Just because a woman drives me to work doesn't mean I'm involved in a sexual relationship with her. While I do appreciate Penny's beauty, I would never take advantage of it. And frankly, the fact that you speak of her with such derogatory terms makes me quite angry. If we were in fact friends before, I think I can safely say that the friendship is over."

Before Kripke could fire back, Sheldon moved past him and walked quickly to his office. Of course he was lying about Amy, but it was just easier. More disconcerting than the lie was how Barry's words about Penny made Sheldon feel. He felt weirdly protective, and...mad. These were not feelings Sheldon particularly knew what to do with, and it threw him off for almost the entire day.

At lunch with Howard and Raj, Sheldon was almost finished eating his apple when he got a text.

_Pretty sure I aced the audition...thank u for all your help, couldn't have done it w/o u!_

Sheldon couldn't help it-for the millionth time that day, he smiled. He fired back, _Congratulations, I knew you could do it. You are an excellent robot._

"What's that about? Did Amy send you a naked pic of herself or something?" Howard asked, trying to get a look at Sheldon's phone.

"Yes. Something like that." Sheldon didn't know why he was lying; he didn't know why he didn't just tell Howard the text was from Penny. Maybe he just wanted to keep it to himself. All Sheldon knew was that things were changing, and he wasn't sure how or why or if he even wanted them to.

*****

There were good auditions and bad auditions, and at this point in her career (if she could even call it that), Penny could tell the difference. This was a good audition. William praised her over and over again, the rest of the crew seemed impressed, and she felt amazing. Starlight City wasn't exactly her dream role (Julia Roberts never played a robot in a sci-fi sitcom, did she?), but it was going to open up a lot of doors for her, hopefully soon. Maybe she wouldn't have to work at the Cheesecake Factory forever, or go home to Nebraska, tail between her legs.

Thank goodness for Sheldon and his persistence in teaching her all the robot and other scientific terminology she needed to know. It occurred to her that if she got the part, she'd have to rely on him more and more, at least until Leonard came home. First of all, Penny hoped Sheldon had the patience to keep teaching her, and second, she was kind of excited about all the new things she'd learn from him. Ever since she started taking classes at the community college, Penny discovered she loved learning the things she never picked up on before. And Sheldon was her favorite teacher.

"We'll call you," William said before Penny left the audition. "But I think I can safely say that you got it. Whether the networks will pick it up after the pilot, that's another situation entirely. So don't quit your day job or anything. Yet."

"Oh, wow, thank you so much!" Penny exclaimed, happy and excited and nervous all at once. "Thank you, you won't regret it."

"Of course I won't. You aced all the terminology; we haven't had a single person who managed to get all the words and terms right. You're going to be a great addition to the cast, Penny. Smile! This is going to be good." William gave her a big grin, patted her on the shoulder, and then he was gone.

Penny looked through her purse for her keys and went outside into the bright, hot, sunny day. She felt like skipping, she was so happy. While she knew she still had to get through the taping of the pilot, and that the pilot still had to be picked up, and that she still had to tough it out at the Factory for a while, she knew good things were on the way. And at that moment, she didn't miss or even think about Leonard at all. Maybe that was a problem. Maybe the fact that she was thinking about Sheldon and how much she loved it when he helped her was an even bigger problem. But as she had gotten so used to doing, Penny pushed those thoughts right out of her head and got her cell phone out. It was celebration time.

*****

"And a toast to Penny, who will soon be kicking ass as the hottest robot ever," Amy said, raising her glass. Bernadette and Penny toasted her back, and gulped down their alcoholic beverages. Well, Penny gulped, Bernadette politely sipped.

"Thanks, lady friend. I can't believe it. I'm so excited! Soon enough, I'll never have to serve a cheeseburger to a douchebag who calls me 'Barbie Von ButtCheeks' ever again. Not that he ever called me that twice-the tea I spilled on him 'accidentally' seems to have gotten the message across."

Penny, Bernadette and Amy were at a fantastically crappy dive bar for a girls' night, which they hadn't had together for way too long. All three of them were always either working or with their significant others and it was hard to get in some good girls time. But after her audition, Penny was feeling so good that she needed to hang out with her girlfriends, and immediately. Fortunately Amy was just at home giving herself a bikini wax (she had to maintain it somehow) and Bernadette was dying for a break from doing Howard's laundry. Now they were on the express train to getting drunk and having a deliciously amazing night. Howard was on call to be their designated driver for the evening.

After a spirited discussion of both what happened on Dexter the night before and then the new developments in the world of neurobiology and brain chemistry (Penny used this time as an opportunity to eat a lot of peanuts and catch up on Words with Friends on her cell phone), the topic turned to their men, as it always tended to do.

"Howie is so cute lately," Bernadette said. "He's working extra-long hours at the lab so we can take a cruise to Alaska next year. Of course, his mother is coming with us but hopefully we can at least get a separate room."

Penny thought that sounded mildly horrifying but didn't share that thought with Bernadette. "That's funny, Leonard is kind of on a cruise right now. I mean, I guess it's not a cruise and it's for work and everything, but still..."

"Do you miss him?" Bernadette asked.

"Not really…is that weird? He's just been gone for like a week. I haven't had time to miss him."

"Oh, I miss Howie after a really long day at work. I don't know what I'd do if he was gone for a week, much less all summer. After he came back from space, I didn't want to let him go!"

Penny felt bad. How come she didn't miss Leonard like that? She loved him, she really did. And after a long time of not allowing herself to ponder it, sometimes she could even think of their future together without completely freaking out. So why didn't she miss him? Penny decided to change the subject. To anything but Leonard.

"Hmm. Well...Amy, how are you and Sheldon doing lately?" It wasn't an unusual question; Penny and Amy talked about her relationship with Sheldon all the time. But tonight this question seemed to be more important. And she didn't know why.

"Well, I'm a bit troubled, actually. We haven't been spending a lot of time together. Of course, I'm quite busy at work and so is he, but I've got to get my sugar or mama's not happy, you know what I mean?"

Penny frowned. "No, not really. What is the 'sugar', in this case? Did Sheldon finally reach puberty?"

Amy chuckled. "No, of course not. I meant it figuratively. But seeing as how lately he has not been condemning the act of coitus and has actually admitted that physical intimacy in the future is not something he's completely opposed to, I believe it is only a matter of months or possibly a year until we engage in such acts. I'd say by February 14th, 2014, I will have an interesting tale or two to tell."

"Wow, Amy, you are really patient! How do you put up with him when there are so many other men out there would love to be in a physical relationship with you?" Bernadette asked. Penny was wondering the same thing, but she wouldn't have said it so eloquently or tactfully.

"Are you kidding? I've put in so much time and effort with Sheldon. I wouldn't want some other girl to come along and pop the lid off after I ran him under the hot water for so long, you know what I mean?"

Penny actually did know what her strange friend meant. "We get it, Amy. And you know what, I have to compliment your weird boyfriend. He really helped me with the robot terminology I had to know for the audition. He's becoming more patient in his older years. I think I have you to thank for that."

Amy smiled. "That's my boyfriend. He is such a giver." But then she frowned a bit. "I guess that's why we haven't spent much time together lately-he's been helping you with your work."

"Oh, well, of course you're free to come over and help me, too. It's just that he's across the hall and I can walk in and bother him any time," Penny rushed to explain. Why did she suddenly feel like she had to justify her actions to Amy? Was she...feeling guilty or something?

"Oh, yes, of course. And I would have done so if Sheldon had invited me or told me what you two were doing. I'm a good teacher. I'm sure he lost his patience a few times. I wouldn't have done that with you, Penny." And she winked for some reason.

"That's good to know. I'll tell Sheldon you're willing to help, too," Penny said, and took a big, long drink. The topic again turned to TV and pop culture and the cute waiter, and Penny almost forgot how she didn't miss her boyfriend at all, and how badly she wanted to go home and talk to her loud, obnoxious, tall nerd of a neighbor across the hall.


	4. Chapter 4

_A week or two later_

It was getting easier to wake up before Sheldon came knocking at her door every morning. Maybe it was because Penny had something to look forward to-in just a week, shooting for the pilot was going to start. Perhaps it was too optimistic of her, but Penny had a good feeling about this opportunity. It was a unique show, and it was fun, and a lot of people believed in it, so maybe this could be her big break after all.

On this particular cloudy summer morning, Penny woke up before her alarm. She took a shower, made some coffee, and poured out some cereal to eat while she checked her email. Sometimes Leonard was able to get a signal and send her a few paragraphs of what he'd been up to on the boat and how much he missed her. Those emails were nice...a little something to help her get through the day. No email this morning, though. Oh, well. Maybe tomorrow.

Penny sent Leonard her daily email of "Love you, miss you, kisses and hugs, etc." and then checked her Facebook. Maybe he left her a little something there. Nope, no Leonard, just a wall post from Amy about their upcoming girls night and few invites to play Candy Crush or whatever the heck it was. Penny absentmindedly clicked on Leonard's name to see his wall. It looked the same as always, except a new post from some random chick she'd never seen or heard about. Well, that was interesting.

_Leonard - it was great hanging out with you on the ship today! So glad Stephen introduced us. It's always great to meet another physics geek who also loves Buffy and Firefly. I hope we can chat when you get back to California. We'll have that coffee you promised. ;)_

Who the hell was this "Mandy Martin" and what the hell did she want with Leonard? Penny clicked on her name and proceeded to look at dozens of pictures of this chick on the beach, this chick in a bikini, this chick drinking margaritas with other tall, thin, tan girls, and then one tiny picture of her in a lab coat, looking studious and holding a beaker. Penny instantly knew what this chick was about, and didn't like it all.

Fuming, Penny turned off the computer and stomped to her bedroom to get dressed. Okay, so he was meeting girls on the boat. That was fine. It was more than fine; it was great. Leonard deserved to make new friends, people he could get along with and talk to while gone for so long. And obviously Penny wasn't the jealous type. What did she need to be jealous of, anyway? Leonard was hopeless at flirting. Plus, Penny was confident in their love for each other. That hadn't come naturally to her, either. She had to work hard on becoming so secure in the relationship, but she made it. So it was rather unsettling that this one Facebook incident was bothering her so much. A million questions floated in and out of her head...where did they meet? Where did she get a signal to get on Facebook? Was she staying on the boat with him or did the boat dock for a while? And if it did, why didn't he find a way to call Penny? This whole thing was putting her in a horrible mood. All she wanted to do was talk to Leonard, but of course that wasn't an option. She found her phone buried underneath her discarded clothes from the night before and texted him anyway.

_Hey babe...call me when u get a chance. Need to talk to u!_

Penny glanced at the digital clock next to her bed. Six minutes until Sheldon was due to show up. For some reason, this made her feel better. It was funny how lately thinking about Leonard made her feel anxious, but being with Sheldon seemed to calm her down. That hadn't always been the case, obviously; she and Sheldon had to come a long way to get where they were now. She really didn't get him at all when they first met and would have preferred Leonard come with a non-whackadoodle roommate. But over the years she grew to quite enjoy their friendship and was grateful to be able to rely on it now that Leonard was gone. Ever since Leonard made his announcement, Penny had been dreading the summer. But now she was looking forward to what kind of surprises it would bring.

*****

Sheldon knocked, Penny answered. This was the routine, and Sheldon needed (and enjoyed) routines. Usually he'd make a light-hearted attempt to make her laugh and she'd either glare at him or chuckle as intended. But this morning, something about Penny's face told him that his usual humor would not be welcome. Maybe she had a bad night. Maybe she ate something too sugary for breakfast-he noticed that when she ate a particular kind of cereal, or when she skipped breakfast altogether, it put her in a grumpy sort of mood.

But on this day, he couldn't read her mood, so he decided to just leave her alone with her thoughts. Although Old Sheldon would want to get to the bottom of it, New Sheldon, the one who had spent the last couple weeks learning the ins and outs of Penny's mood cycles (although he was confused as to how Leonard was able to keep up with them so accurately for so many years), knew that if Penny wanted to talk, she would talk. And eventually she did.

"Am I picking you up tonight?" She finally said, breaking the tense silence between them.

"Um, yes, if that's quite all right with you. Raj normally picks me up on Thursdays but today—"

"Good. We'll take you to the comic book store and then we'll take me to the liquor store. We'll go home, order pizza, you can read your book while I drink a glass or two...oh, hell, a _bottle_ or two—no, definitely two—of wine. It'll be great."

Sheldon didn't actually have much objection to Penny's plan; it sounded quite efficient, actually. However, he was still concerned about her liquor intake.

"Penny, not that I don't like this plan of yours, but over the years since we've known each other, I've developed a hypothesis that you tend to drink more alcohol when you're angry about something. I find that when I'm perturbed, I like to watch a comforting episode of Doctor Who, or write a letter to a company that I am unhappy with, perhaps."

Penny snorted. "I don't think Doctor Who is a match for the kind of anger I have inside me right now."

They had reached the university now and that was probably Sheldon's cue to depart the car, and the conversation. But he was worried about his friend, and he wanted her to know that.

"I don't know why you're angry; although obviously I'm sure it has something to do with Leonard. But Penny, frequent and long-term use of alcohol can lead to some serious and unwanted side effects. I would like to show you other ways of alleviating your stress in frustrating situations. Perhaps the ways that I am accustomed to aren't suitable for your needs, but maybe we can find something else that will be." He was already thinking of what episode to show her, even if she hadn't agreed yet. "Vincent and the Doctor" would be perfect for the point he wanted to make.

They had gotten to the university at this point, and Penny found a parking spot and turned off the car. She looked at him with genuine affection in her eyes and said, "Sweetie, thank you so much for caring. I'd really like to watch Doctor Who with you tonight, if that's what you think will help. I've never seen it before. Maybe I'll like it."

It was not often Sheldon found himself confused, but the way Penny was looking at him made him feel something he wasn't quite sure how to name. This was happening more often than he'd prefer lately.

"Well, good. I'll see you later, then."

"I'm looking forward to it," Penny said, smiling. Then she scooted closer to him and did something that shocked both of them—she kissed him on the cheek.

"Sorry. Couldn't help myself. See you later!" She said cheerfully. Sheldon managed to nod. He then sort of stumbled from the car. He stood on the sidewalk and watched as she drove away, wondering what the evening had in store for the both of them.

*****

As Penny drove away, she thought about how sweet Sheldon was being lately. Leonard had put her in charge of him while he was gone, but maybe it was the other way around. Or maybe, most likely, they were taking care of each other.

After daydreaming about that for way too long, Penny came back to reality. She was still pissed at her stupid boyfriend and she also had to work at the Cheesecake Factory before she could have TV time with Sheldon. For the next six hours, she got lost in her usual world of spilling soup on herself, three attempted ass grabs from her lovely patrons (she was an expert at seeing this move coming and avoiding it by now), as many cheesecakes as one building could hold, and so it goes. She was way too busy to think about Sheldon and their planned evening together, but every so often she'd have a moment to breathe, and she'd think about how much he cared about her well-being, and it would make her smile. Then she'd think about Leonard and the mysterious company he was keeping on the boat and that would piss her off again. So many conflicting feelings...welcome to Penny's world.

An hour before she was scheduled to go home, Penny was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. She was in one of her happier moods of the day when her manager called her into his office.

"Sure, Roger," she muttered, following him to the dark, intimidating office. This was never good. Unless he was going to offer her a raise, of course. But she hadn't gotten a raise in more than a year and wasn't really expecting one any time soon.

Roger, a middle-aged man with a trying-too-hard ponytail and tired brown eyes, sat down at his desk. Penny chose to keep standing. His office was full of motivational posters and Employees of the Month pictures, and you could just tell he was proud of every single one of them. Roger was one of those people who seemed born to be a manager at the Cheesecake Factory.

"Penny, do you like your job?"

"Of course I do," she said automatically, silently hating herself for this obvious lie. _Nobody_ liked working at the Cheesecake Factory; they only did it while they tried to find somewhere else to work. Everyone knew this. Even Roger knew this. But Penny knew she was in for one of his infamous "pep talks."

"I'm concerned that you're not showing enough enthusiasm out there on the floor. If it's not too much of an imposition, I'd really love it if you could take a little more pride in your work."

Was this dude serious? She brought turkey wraps to tourists. Cheesecakes to horny old men. Barbecue cheeseburgers to her friends. Over the years she'd endured countless come ons, phone numbers on napkins, jealous waitresses, sticky shoes and that awful uniform for barely minimum wage, and he wanted her to be _happy_ about it? Penny's brain burned with rage, but what could she do? She didn't want to burn this bridge, and her acting career, although improving rapidly, wasn't quite taking off yet.

"Of course, Roger. I'm curious, did I get any complaints?"

Roger cleared his throat-he did that with an alarming frequency-and said, "No, Penny, but you haven't gotten any compliments, either. So put on a smile and deliver those cheesecakes like your job depends on it."

Penny had watched every episode of the original CSI (at least until Grissom left, it just wasn't the same after that) and knew how to hide a dead body. This gave her comfort as she forced the fakest smile and said, "I'll do my very best. This job is really important to me." _I wish I could cut your ponytail off in the middle of the night._

He turned away, not even caring enough to dismiss Penny. She spent the next hour smiling like an idiot and fuming inside. Only a bottle of wine could cure the anger building up in her soul...maybe she could sneak a few drinks before she went across the hall. But she promised Sheldon she'd give his stress-relieving technique a try instead. Ugh, dinner and a TV show with Moonpie better be worth it, she thought. If not, she was going back to her place and getting black-out drunk. Which should have been alarming, actually, but she was too pissed off-at Roger, at Leonard, at the world in general-to recognize that fact.

*****

"Okay, so let me get this straight-this cute-slash-nerdy dude goes back in time with his also time-traveling lady friend and they meet people and have adventures and stuff?"

"Yes, Penny. That is the most basic way anyone has ever described Doctor Who, but that is essentially what it is about." Sheldon didn't have the patience to explain all the nooks and crannies of one of his favorite TV shows. He just wanted Penny to see this episode. For some reason, it was important to him.

Penny made herself a cup of tea in the kitchen and sat down on the couch next to him, sighing. She'd explained what a terrible day she'd had and how much she hated Leonard and her "ridiculous snake of a boss" and how much she wanted to drink something to alleviate her stress. Sheldon was all up to date now.

"Are you ready to watch this now?" Sheldon asked somewhat impatiently.

"I guess. Oh, wait." Penny got up and turned off all the lights. "A little mood lighting," she said before sitting back down. Sheldon wasn't particularly a fan of watching TV in the dark, but he was learning to pick his battles.

Sheldon expected a lot of questions and sighing and just general noise from Penny while they watched the show, but she was curled up next to him, silent and fascinated. Since he'd already seen the episode 63 times, he was more focused on Penny than the Doctor. She didn't realize it (or maybe she did), but she was inching closer and closer to him until she was nearly in his lap. Her movements and the warmth radiating from her body gave Sheldon some interesting feelings he wasn't sure what to do with, and not for the first time. And again not for the first time, Sheldon had to wonder why being this close to Amy never made him feel the same way. Of course he understood basic biology and body chemistry and knew the implications; he just didn't quite understand what it all meant. Maybe he wasn't meant to.

When it was over, Penny didn't say anything for a while. The next episode started playing and she seemed fascinated by that one, too. Finally she grabbed the remote from the table and muted it.

"So okay, the doctor guy and the redhead chick go back in time because there's a problem with that one painting by the dude who cut his ear off-yes, Sheldon, I know his name was Vincent Van Gogh, I'm just simplifying things-and what, they show him that he really was valued and appreciated as an artist, just not in his own time?"

Sheldon was impressed. "Yes, that's correct. And when-"

Penny interrupted. "And since Van Gogh met Amy and fell in love with her and he realized maybe everything is not so bad and life doesn't always have to be one tragic event after the other, the weird alien guy in the painting disappeared when they got back to the present. Wow, that is a strange sentence."

"It's obviously much more than that, but yes, you have the basic gist of the episode." He wanted to tell her all the reasons why he wanted her to watch it, but he didn't know if Penny was even interested in why. She seemed to just want to digest the basics of everything. That was one thing that frustrated Sheldon about Penny-she was capable of going deeper, but she just didn't want to. She had so much potential and sometimes it made him angry when all she talked about was shoes or reality shows.

Penny reached for his hand and he almost jumped off the couch. She was always trying to touch him in some way. It wasn't altogether unpleasant but a little warning would have been nice.

"Sweetie, why don't you tell me what this episode means to you and why you wanted me to see it. I mean, I have an idea, but I want to hear it in your words."

It was such a simple thing to say, but it meant something to Sheldon. Once again, the way she was looking at him; the way she wanted him to tell her why, how she was genuinely interested in what he had to say. This did not happen very often, with anyone, really. Obviously Amy was always fascinated by what he had to say but she never looked at him the way Penny was now. Even if Sheldon didn't know much about the subject, he recognized something in her eyes that Amy lacked. It was something slightly…sexual, maybe. Lustful? Carnal? He wasn't well enough versed in this world to know. Penny was, though. She may not know much about physics, but she knew plenty about biology.

Sheldon took a deep breath and exhaled. Penny never looked away. "Vincent Van Gogh only sold one painting when he was alive. That is the first thing you should know about him. He was also quite mentally ill, and probably an alcoholic. He is believed to have committed suicide. And yet he is one of the most famous artists of all time. That 'weird alien guy' in the painting represented everything that was wrong with his life. It represented his struggles of balancing creativity with the voices inside his head. And when Amy and the Doctor came along, they showed him that he was more than just a guy with a problem; more than an alcoholic, more than an artist, even. He was a human being."

"I get that, but when they left him back in his time, Amy was so sure that Van Gogh was going to live longer and produce more paintings and have more of a legacy, but when they got back, nothing was different. The alien was gone and he made that painting for Amy, but other than that, nothing changed. So what was the point?"

"The alien being gone _is_ the whole point. Just knowing that his paintings made a difference to people and that he was appreciated after his death made his inner demons, like the one in the painting, disappear. Of course his mental illness wasn't cured, but the voices inside his head that told him he was useless were silenced."

Penny thought about this. And looked confused. "Sheldon, I swear that I'm trying to figure out how this relates to me and my situation, but it's not working. A little help here, please?"

He squeezed her hand, which he was still holding. "Okay, Penny, don't hurt me, this is just something I have observed over the years-you seem to resort to alcohol quite frequently when you are stressed. And the cause of your stress always seems to be related to how you are not seen in the light you want to be seen in. Men see your outward appearance and treat you in a certain way. I am aware that Leonard sees past that now. However, based on his first impression, he was enamored with you from the first moment he laid eyes on you, which I am guessing is something that, while you've never been comfortable with, you're quite used to it at this point."

Penny nodded but stayed quiet. He could see the beginnings of tears in her eyes. But she deserved to hear the rest.

"I just want you to know there are some people who respect you for who you are and not who you look like. Granted, it took me a few years to see it, but I believe you are a remarkable actress, a brilliant performer, and more than that, you are an amazing friend."

Penny was smiling, if not a bit sadly. "An amazing friend? Did Amy tell you to say that? We're besties, you know."

"I have in fact witnessed your friendship with Amy develop and I know it means a lot to her. She's never had a friend like you before and it's made her into a much more self-confident woman. But I was not referring to her. Penny, I know I can be a bit obnoxious and annoying, but you see right through that. Remember when I wasn't feeling like myself because my regular barber was in the hospital and my hair was getting too long to properly function? You disregarded the fact that I was not acting rational and you just wanted me to feel better. Your concern about me; the way you offered to cut my hair was something I won't forget. Not that I forget anything, but you know what I mean."

"Sheldon. Stand up."

"Why? I'm perfectly comfortable-"

Penny rolled her tear-stained eyes. "Stand up!"

Sheldon obeyed. Penny jumped up and gave him a hug. And for the first time, Sheldon let himself enjoy it. He clung to her as hard as she clung to him. It was not over quickly. It was lingering and it was long and it was full of unresolved tension that the two of them had been ignoring for quite some time now. But even Sheldon knew that there was nothing either of them could do about it; or honestly, if he _wanted_ vto do anything about it. When did these things get so confusing?

"Honey, your friendship means so much to me, too. You just put a lot of things in perspective for me, thank you." She kissed him on the cheek and he knew he was probably turning bright red. How embarrassing.

They both sat back down to watch the next episode. As a final touch, Penny said, "If I was the redhead chick, I totally would have stayed with Van Gogh and had a million ginger babies. That dude was hot. I love me a bad boy." When Sheldon stared at her blankly, she just laughed. He would never get tired of her laugh.

*****

Penny left Sheldon's an hour or so later. She immediately went to her kitchen and got out the bottle of wine she'd been thinking about all day. And then put it back into the refrigerator without thinking about it too much. Maybe she wouldn't always be able to put it back, but Sheldon's amazing words were still fresh in her mind. Nobody had ever said anything like that to her before. And the fact that he took the time to tell her and not get impatient when she didn't understand...he was so cute.

As she got ready for bed, Penny thought about that day they met in the hall almost seven years ago. What if Leonard hadn't fallen in love at first sight and hadn't been so persistent ever since? What if Penny went with her instinct that day when she saw two nerdy guys and she went for the tall one instead? What would be different, and what would be the same?

It was going to be a long summer, and Penny didn't know if she wished it was short so she could be with Leonard again as soon as possible, or if it could be long, so she could spend more time with Sheldon. This was going to be a problem, wasn't it? She was in trouble now. And the worst thing about it was, she was looking forward to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I suck. You know I suck, I know I suck, everyone knows I suck. I shall offer no excuses or apologies and just say I hope that you will forgive me and accept this chapter as a peace offering. It shouldn't take as long to update next time. Really! I am serious.**
> 
>  
> 
> **A big thanks as usual to Anna, who is very passionate about Doctor Who and gave me a lot of useful information for this chapter. Thank you.**
> 
>  
> 
> **As always, feedback is welcome and encouraged. Thank you very much for your patience. You're all the wind beneath my wings.**


	5. Chapter 5

**BEFORE**

_A few months later_

Penny grasped her phone with one hand while she carefully painted her toenails a dark blue with the other hand. Leonard was going on and on about some party they had on the boat and how amazing it was and how he talked to Stephen for like an hour about some physics thing that Penny was trying her absolute hardest to understand. And she tried, really, she did. It just...wasn't working so well.

"So anyway, I guess I'll see you next week. I miss you so much, you don't even understand," Leonard said.

"I miss you, too," Penny said. And she did miss him, maybe at least 50 percent of the time, anyway. Just as she was worried about from the beginning, after such a long absence, it had become all about out of sight, out of mind. She knew-well, hoped-that this feeling would go away once Leonard arrived back home. They had come so far after so long to let this trip come between them. Penny vowed to throw herself into the relationship when he got back. It would be fine. It was always fine and it would still be fine again.

"Now, for your first dinner back, should I set a place at the table for Mindy? Is she a vegetarian? What should I get her to drink?" Penny asked snarkily, knowing she was just adding fuel to the fire and not caring.

Leonard sighed. "It's Mandy. And I thought we were done with this?"

"Oh, we'll never be done with this," Penny said, wiping off some of the wayward nail polish from her toe. "I can't wait to meet her! She sounds nice."

When Penny finally managed to talk to Leonard a few days after seeing the suspicious post on his Facebook wall, of course Leonard had all kinds of things to say about Mandy Martin. She was the captain of the boat's niece, she was like five years younger than him, they didn't have that much in common and he really didn't spend that much time talking to her. It was fine, really, nothing to be jealous about. Penny got over it rather quickly, actually. First of all, she wasn't inherently the jealous type of girl, anyway. It was, however, annoying that Leonard freaked out about every male interaction she had outside of their little group, yet he was allowed to talk to any girl that came in his path. Plus, Penny had too many other distractions going on during the summer to take her mind off these little things.

"Come on, Penny, for the millionth time, do you really think I would cheat on you? You're basically like the love of my life. Come on."

"Yeah, that's what you said about Priya, too, and look what happened with that comic book girl of yours."

This argument never ended well, either. It was almost like a script; they both said the exact same things every single time and it was getting so old and why couldn't either of them just drop it already?

Leonard sighed, and then changed the subject. Penny didn't blame him. "Is your show going well? You haven't been talking about it much when I call you."

Penny was always appreciative when Leonard at least pretended like he cared about her career. He was doing better lately, too. Maybe absence really did make the heart grow fonder. "It's great! It's a really fun show and I almost understand everything I'm talking about." _Thanks to Sheldon._

"I'm so excited for you. When it airs, I can tell everyone that the beautiful robot is my girlfriend," Leonard said proudly. Penny had to restrain herself from groaning. It was true that she and Leonard were far from the two idiots they were the first time they tried this whole relationship thing, but sometimes deep in her heart she knew that her looks were still the most important factor in Leonard's appreciation of her as a person.

"I can't wait for that moment," Penny heard herself say.

"Anyway...how's Sheldon? You're looking out for him, right?"

Penny smiled. "Of course I am. Today after work I took him to the comic book store, then we went to the new pizza place and shared the greatest pizza I have ever known. Then we watched an old episode of Doctor Who and the new episode of Breaking Bad. It was quite a day." Penny tried her best to make that sound like sarcasm, but it was actually true-it was almost a _perfect day,_ in fact. But Leonard didn't exactly need to know that.

Leonard was quiet for a moment. "Sheldon willingly went with you to a new restaurant and watched Breaking Bad, too? Wow, he's really changing this summer."

"Ahh, he's still the same whackadoodle we all know and love."

"I must admit, he's handling it a lot better than I thought he would. I was almost positive I'd get a call about him going off the rails at some point. You must be taking good care of him."

Penny couldn't help it-she blushed. And decided to tell the truth. "Honestly, we're taking care of each other. He's really helped me get through you being gone. I don't know how I could have done it without him."

"Wow, that's…that's really great to hear. I was worried that you two would get sick of each other before the end of the summer. So, yeah. Good."

"Yep," Penny said. She examined her toes and found them to be as good as they were going to get, so she rooted around in a drawer until she found her favorite ruby red nail polish to put on her fingernails. She did all this while waiting for Leonard to say something else. Anything else.

In an effort to break the tension, Penny said, "Well, I have to go get ready for work now. See you soon, have fun with Mandy."

Leonard scoffed, but recovered quickly. "Cheesecakes or robots?"

"Robots today."

"Well, good luck," he said, genuine affection in his voice. "I hope it goes better for you."

"Me, too. Love you, see you soon," Penny said. Leonard echoed her words and they hung up. Penny read the newest People magazine while waiting for her nails to dry, and then reluctantly got up to find her Starlight City robot girl outfit, which was obviously strewn all over the floor.

The summer had thankfully gone by quickly while Leonard was gone. Starlight City was picked up after the pilot and just like that, Penny had her first role on television, the whole reason why she came out to live in California in the first place. And in the beginning, it was really fun. Penny loved learning her lines with Sheldon and then going in and dazzling the director and everyone else on the set. She was good at this job, and getting much-needed praise gave her confidence she'd never had before. Penny had paid her dues, now it was time to shine.

However, just like everything tended to do after a while, Penny realized that the show wasn't all it appeared. The director was just as nice as he was upon Penny's first impression, but he was also kind of creepy. He hit on Penny pretty much every single day, no matter how many times she told him that she had a boyfriend and wasn't interested. He seemed to shake it off after every rejection so Penny wasn't that worried about it. She was more concerned about the show itself. It was new and creative and fun, but it was also kind of…well, _stupid._ A sci-fi comedy sitcom was such a good idea in theory, but somehow it just wasn't working out that way on the show, and almost everyone knew it. But some cable channel picked it up and it was going to start airing in a matter of weeks. Penny was nervous that the show would ruin her reputation—then she remembered that she didn't have a reputation yet, which was even worse. So even though on paper Penny had everything she wanted, she still had a sinking feeling that this wasn't the big break she had in mind.

*****

Sheldon was on his computer, trying to solve a complex equation he needed for work while also debating who was the best Batman in a thread on Reddit. He had some pretty strong words for a fellow who insisted Michael Keaton was the best when Penny barged in an interrupted his thought process. For the longest time, this habit of hers annoyed him, but he was used to it now. Actually, he supposed he enjoyed the interruption; it pierced the strange silence of the apartment that seemed to settle like a cloud of dust when Leonard was gone. Sheldon was both dreading and looking forward to Leonard coming home. He dreaded the fights about the temperature and Leonard's insistence on having French toast on pancake days, but he enjoyed having a friend to converse with; someone he could speak to on an intellectual level. But even though Penny was not exactly a suitable replacement companion in that manner, she offered him the chance to ponder other modes of thought. Like, for example, how the female brain operated, which came in handy when he was talking to female co-workers (Not that he had many of those), or in some cases, Amy. Amy had in fact commented recently how she felt Sheldon was a better listener than usual, and how she appreciated it. Sheldon supposed that being a better boyfriend was actually somewhat satisfying.

Penny got the chair from Leonard's desk and scooted it over to Sheldon's. While he was slightly perturbed that she was in his comfort zone, he didn't mind her closeness—not anymore. Although it had been a long summer of having conflicting and odd feelings towards his best friend's girlfriend, Sheldon had managed to successfully rationalize and sweep them under the rug. After all, he had his own girlfriend, and besides, "lust" wasn't in Sheldon's vocabulary. It was hard enough to imagine being intimate with Amy someday, but he promised her. It was so damn confusing, he just wanted to curl into a ball and forget about girls completely.

"Penny, to what do I owe the honor of your presence at this moment?"

"Nothing, really. I'm just bored. I have to go to work in like an hour. I thought we could watch another episode of Doctor Who. "

Sheldon nodded. "Very well. The DVD is still in the player from where we left off the last time."

Penny smiled and got up to turn the TV on. She sat in her usual place on the sofa, next to Sheldon's spot. Sheldon finished his Batman conversation and was intending to turn his attention to the equation when Penny said from the couch, "Aren't you going to sit next to me? Come on, it's our tradition!"

It had in fact become a tradition to watch Doctor Who together. For hours on end. Sometimes they'd share a meal, sometimes Howard and Bernadette or Amy or Raj would join them, but it was always Sheldon and Penny, sitting together, watching the show that had completely captivated them. Sheldon had already seen the episodes countless times, of course, but seeing it through Penny's eyes was a new adventure. Quite often after the show, they'd talk about what just happened, and sometimes it would naturally evolve into sharing things about themselves and their lives, things they'd never talked about together before. Penny had a way of making Sheldon feel perfectly at ease discussing his childhood in Texas, and for some reason, he was fascinated by her tales of life in Nebraska. For two very different people, they sure had a lot of things in common.

During a lull in the show, Penny turned to Sheldon and said quietly, "I'm going to miss this."

"What are you going to miss?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"Watching this with you. It's been fun, you know? I'm going to miss it." She didn't have to add the _when Leonard comes back_ part; it went without saying.

This is how Sheldon knew something subtle had changed over the summer—he knew exactly what she was talking about. But he still felt like pointing out the obvious.

"We can still do this when he comes back, you know. There is no valid reason why we couldn't."

"I know," Penny said, smiling. "But it won't be the same." She grabbed his hand for a second and he let himself enjoy the warmth. And then the moment was over, and it was back to Doctor Who, and the lingering confusion of the friendship with his next door neighbor.

**DURING**

Leonard had just returned home, and Penny was ecstatic, really, she was. Of course as soon as Leonard put his bags in his room and promised Sheldon he'd be back soon to talk about his trip and Stephen Hawking and everything else, he practically launched himself over to Penny's apartment and they were in bed minutes later. It was good to see him, good to feel him, good to be together again. She missed their intimacy—the summer had been full of long, hot nights that were made only a little bit easier by the important implement she kept in her closet. She'd never admit to anyone about the random nights she'd wake up from the hottest, most intense dreams she'd ever had—and every single one of them involved Sheldon. For the longest time, Penny never even found Sheldon attractive. But now every time she looked at him, she found some new, interesting thing about him. His eyebrows were the perfect length. His lips were full. His hair was slightly reddish in color when he spent too much time in the sun, which of course was not something he did often. It was getting sort of ridiculous, and Penny was glad to have Leonard back in her bed. It was just because he was gone for so long, that's all. Every woman had fantasies; harmless fantasies that meant nothing. Right?

Afterwards, they lay intertwined while Leonard caught his breath. "Wow, that was…I don't even know what that was. I missed it, that's for sure."

"Oh, come on, Mandy didn't get to enjoy your specific brand of foreplay?" Penny teased. Leonard chuckled, but it sounded like a bitter chuckle instead of an amused one.

"You really love beating things to death, don't you? Obviously I would never cheat on you. We both know that."

Penny sat up, taking the sheet with her. "Come on, I'm just kidding. What's the big deal? We joke about stuff all the time."

"Yeah, maybe, but I don't like joking about this. You mean everything to me, Penny. It hurts that you would even think I'm capable of cheating on you. So let's stop 'joking around' about Mandy. It's not funny."

 _That's a lot to live up to_ , Penny thought, and not for the first time. Leonard was always putting her on a pedestal, and it was impossible to live up to all his hopes and dreams for their future.

"Okay, fine," she said. "Whatever."

Leonard sighed. "Don't be like that, you know I hate that! I mean, what if I started 'teasing you' about Sheldon? You two looked awfully comfortable together when Amy and I walked in today."

Penny chuckled uncomfortably. "Really? That's a little ridiculous, don't you think?"

"Of course it is! Mandy and I were just friends. You and Sheldon are just friends. It sucks to have a harmless relationship be compared with something it's not, right? It sucks a lot."

This whole conversation was making Penny immensely uncomfortable but she couldn't put her finger on why. Maybe it was because Leonard had no right to judge her relationship with Sheldon. He couldn't possibly understand what had grown between them during the summer. Even Penny had a hard time understanding it. It was innocent, but yet it wasn't. She had nothing to feel guilty about, and yet she did. This was getting way too hard. Penny decided to back down. It wasn't worth it.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I'm sure Mandy is a great person, but she doesn't have my rack," she said, and Leonard grinned.

"That's the spirit," he said, and then they were kissing, and the moment was forgotten for at least a few minutes. And that, in a nutshell, was how their relationship had worked from the beginning.

*****

Sheldon was at Amy's apartment. She was playing the harp and he was trying his hardest to sit still and listen to her play the harp. It was important to her. And if he had learned anything from their three-year relationship, it was that he had to be attentive to the things that were important to Amy. It was sometimes quite a chore, but if anything, he would be the boyfriend she deserved, at least someday. It was nights like these when he found himself wondering if it was worth it. If he really wanted to be with Amy. He was pretty sure the answer was still yes. She was a good girlfriend and they would have a bright future together. And besides, if he broke up with her, what would he do then? Just find another girlfriend? He was convinced there was no other woman in the world who could deal with his brand of intimacy, for one thing. The whole charade was exhausting to think about.

Amy finished playing Living on a Prayer on her harp and Sheldon smiled and applauded, which made Amy supremely happy. She rewarded him with spaghetti and cut up hot dogs. While he always enjoyed eating this delightful dish, it always tasted better when Penny made it for him. Obviously he would never tell Amy that. She would rip his face off and feed it to her monkeys.

"So are you happy Leonard's back?" Amy asked between forkfuls of spaghetti.

Sheldon nodded and took a sip of milk. "Yes, it is nice having his companionship again. He also seems happy to be home. I've had to stop him in mid-whistle quite a few times. You would think he'd remember that whistling is expressly forbidden."

"I guess he's just happy to be back with Penny," Amy said. "I mean, who wouldn't be?"

"Yes, I suppose you're right," Sheldon said, nodding. A week had passed since Leonard's return, and Penny seemed happy enough, although there was something different about, well, everything. She was content but not overly so. Sheldon wondered if she was sad about something; he could almost see it in her eyes. Oh, it was so much easier when Sheldon didn't know each and every emotion she had at every moment she had it.

Penny wasn't the only one who seemed a bit off. Something about Leonard changed, too. He seemed a bit more confident, for some reason. He didn't look like he needed quite so much validation from his friends and peers. This was obviously a good thing, but it seemed to change the dynamic of Penny and Leonard's relationship. Again, Sheldon would not have noticed this subtle shift in the atmosphere before the summer, before he spent so much time with someone who understood these things a lot better than he did.

They moved on to dessert and Sheldon encouraged Amy to talk about her newest project, which he was actually interested in hearing about. Her work on SALL4 had kept her busy during the summer and they hadn't seen much of each other lately, and Sheldon was fascinated by how much spending less time together seemed to make him enjoy their actual gatherings that much more. It was weird, but he felt like he might actually be getting the hang of this relationship thing. Or…maybe not.

"Sheldon, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about lately that's been bothering me somewhat," Amy said carefully.

"Is it the way that picture of you and Penny is hanging a bit off-center on the wall? Oh, good, it's been bothering me, too."

Amy sighed. "No, that's not it. But I will fix it soon, I promise. No, I was wondering…you told me a few months ago that you have not ruled out, well, intimacy between us. As you know, my birthday is coming up soon and I would like to celebrate with you. Honestly, I do not want to be in my mid-thirties without having experienced, ahem, certain intimate activities. So therefore, I'd like you to think about at least going to first base, which is including but not limited to kissing."

"Well, Amy, I don't know if an ultimatum—"

"Now, don't dismiss me right away, Sheldon. I would just like you to _think_ about it. We've been together for quite a long time, we are very compatible in all other areas besides this one, and I think it's time for you to at least try. It can be like an experiment for you. I promise, it won't be as terrible as you are worried it might be."

Sheldon knew that this was going to happen sooner or later, and he still didn't have a proper reply. Of course being intimate with Amy wouldn't be terrible, it would probably be…nice. And at this point in his life, he wasn't even sure what was holding him back.

"I'll think about it, and that's all I can promise for now," Sheldon said quietly.

"That's all I ask. But I have to say, I think I deserve it, I've waited a long time," Amy said resolutely. "And if you are not capable of giving me this one thing, I might…well, I might have to move on with my life. I have very deep feelings for you, Sheldon, but I can't wait forever."

"Fair enough," Sheldon said, which didn't seem to be the response Amy was wanting, but she forced a smile and they continued eating dessert. Everything was fine for the moment, but Sheldon knew it wouldn't always be, and he was going to have to start making some hard decisions.

  
**AFTER**

Amy, Sheldon and Penny were playing an exciting game of Monopoly (which somehow Sheldon always won) when Leonard came practically skipping through the door.

"Guess what!" Leonard said excitedly.

"Let's see, did you encounter an alien in the hall, who promised you eternal life if you just—"

"Sheldon, hush," Penny said. "We all know that could go on forever. What do you want to tell us?"

"I'm being honored at the university for my trip this summer. Stephen Hawking's going to be there and everything! Anyway, it's going to be a big ceremony and I want you all to come."

"Oh, my gosh! I'm so happy for you!" Penny said. She gave him a big kiss and he grinned.

"Yes, Leonard, I do have to admit that's a nice honor to receive," Sheldon said, not even looking jealous in the slightest.

"And I have nothing to wear! I'm so going to have to go shopping," Penny said. She loved any excuse to shop.

"Oh, me, too! It can be a besties trip to the mall," Amy said. "And we can get manicures! And pedicures! And bikini waxes!"

Penny chuckled. "Sure, we can do all that." Penny appreciated her friend's enthusiasm for the girlier things in life. She knew it was a recent development.

"I could use a new suit for the event," Leonard said. "Maybe we could make it an outing." They all glanced at Sheldon, who was looking at something on his phone. Without looking up, Sheldon muttered, "Well, don't look at me. I already have a suit. Enjoy your plunder of material goods."

Amy sighed. "Come on, Sheldon! Normal boyfriends come with their girlfriends to the mall. Just this one time, please?"

Sheldon looked perturbed. "Amy, while I do want to be a 'good boyfriend,' are you sure you want to use your one monthly 'begging and pleading' coupon on a trip to the mall?"

"Yes!" Amy said excitedly. Penny shook her head. Their relationship was so…weird. Cute and adorable and functional, but weird. In a way, Penny admired what Amy and Sheldon had. It wasn't based on lust and alcohol and proximity (which was basically what she and Leonard were all about, at least in the beginning), but knowledge and intelligence and shared appreciation for warm beverages. Penny didn't know how to be in a relationship without intimacy, though. She had no idea how Amy dealt with it.

"Fine, but you have to take me to the comic book store and the fancy train store in LA on Saturday."

"Deal," Amy said, and the trip was settled. A few hours later, all four of them were at the mall, on a mission to shop for Leonard's exciting event.

After Penny insisted they all get a pretzel (she loved her some Auntie Anne's), they headed to the department store for all their individual needs. "Oh, I need to find some underwear," Leonard said, and went off in search for it. Amy trailed off after him, saying, "I need some, too. Men's underwear just fits me better." This left Sheldon and Penny by themselves, and she directed him to the men's suits.

"Penny, I already told you, I have a perfectly adequate suit already. You know. You were there."

Penny sighed. "Yes, that's true. I'll let you get away with it this time. Can we at least get you a new tie?" What she didn't add was how damn good he looked in that suit of his. She still remembered the day they found it. It was the first time she realized what a handsome man he was. So handsome it actually rendered her speechless, and not much was capable of doing that.

"I suppose," Sheldon said. "But don't you need a new dress? Even though you have approximately 42 of them in your closet."

Penny didn't even want to know how he knew that exact figure. "Yeah, I do. Come on, you can help me try them on."

"Oh, goody," Sheldon said, and Penny laughed. She loved it when he was successfully sarcastic.

She dragged him to the women's department and started rifling through dresses. "I've got to find a really good one," she muttered as she went through countless dresses on the racks.

"Why? It's not your event," Sheldon said, looking bored.

"No, it's my man's event. I want Leonard to look good on his night, and for that, I have to look good, too."

"Forgive me, Penny, but that doesn't sound like a very feminist approach to relationships," Sheldon said. For some reason, this both annoyed and hurt Penny.

"Well, I never claimed to be a feminist, Sheldon. AND I don't think it's _not_ feminist to want to look good for myself and my boyfriend. I mean, what's the big deal? Every woman has the right to feel good about herself."

Sheldon didn't answer. Penny kept looking through the dresses, annoyance starting to build. Finally she found the perfect red dress. It showed just the right amount of what she wanted to display. "Stay here," she told Sheldon, and went in the dressing room to try it on. Even in the harsh light of the room, the dress looked perfect. It was a bit pricey, but she had to have it. This dress was going to turn heads, and she couldn't wait.

*****

"Sheldon!" Penny shout-whispered. Sheldon was staring at the ceiling, memorizing the number of tiles, and Penny made him lose count. "Come here! I have to show someone this dress."

A man's work was never done. Sheldon made his way over to the dressing room, and stopped short when he saw Penny outside the door. Even if he did pride himself on not (usually) feeling or even knowing any kind of lust; even though he'd never truly been attracted to most of the females he'd ever known, even though science and logic were the only things (besides his mom, sister and meemaw, of course) he'd ever expressed love for, and even though he had a girlfriend, Sheldon was overwhelmed at that moment by Penny's beauty. The dress was short and exposed her long, tanned legs, and her lean arms and bare shoulders. Her long blonde hair was a perfect way to offset the tones of the dress, and the effect was stunning. She looked like a Greek goddess, and Sheldon was captivated. He had no idea what to say or do.

"Wow," Penny said softly. "I guess it looks okay then, huh?"

Sheldon just nodded. And that's when Leonard and Amy decided to rejoin the group.

"I got the perfect pair of underwear! They're blue with white stripes…" Amy trailed off as she saw the way her boyfriend was looking at Penny. The look in his eyes was completely unmistakable, and it was at that moment that Amy knew there was something going on. Maybe it was unspoken, maybe not. But something was not right about this. It must have been confusing for her; Sheldon never, ever looked at her like that, and she didn't even think he was capable of looking at anyone like…that. Amy looked over at Leonard to see if he saw the same thing she did, but he was looking at Penny and her dress like it was the answer to all of life's problems.

"Wow, Penny. I mean…that's just…I can't." Leonard couldn't even finish his sentence.

"It's good, right? I'm going to buy it."

"Good for me! Bad for every other man at this event who doesn't get to go home with you."

"Well, you're kind of biased, but thank you," she said, and kissed him on the cheek.

"Sheldon, doesn't she look amazing?" Leonard asked, not taking his eyes off Penny. "Oh, look who I'm asking. I might as well as that cardboard cut-out over there. Amy, doesn't she look amazing?"

"Like a movie star from the forties or something," Amy said, nodding. Sheldon was silent, since nobody apparently thought he was capable of having an opinion on the matter. It was probably better that way.

*****

A few nights later was Leonard's celebration, and it was a night to remember. Penny truly had an amazing time, and so did everyone else. Leonard made a great speech and Penny got to shake Stephen Hawking's hand. Howard and Bernadette and Raj and his date came as well, and they all danced and drank and laughed and it was more fun than anyone expected.

After a few glasses of wine, Leonard and Penny were dancing close and whispering naughty things in each other's ear, when Amy tapped Penny on the shoulder. "Do you mind if I cut in? I'm so proud of you, Leonard, and I wanted to dance with the man of the hour."

"Of course," Penny said. "Have at him."

Penny stepped aside and smiled as Leonard and Amy danced swiftly across the floor. They looked cute together. As she pondered getting just one more glass of wine and resting her feet, she felt another tap on the shoulder. She was happy to see it was Sheldon, looking dapper as ever.

"May I have this dance? My partner has apparently abandoned me." Sheldon asked. Penny nodded, and took his hand. They'd never danced together before, but they were both naturals. They didn't even speak or acknowledge how weird this felt; how right it felt. Finally, before the song ended, Sheldon said, "I've been meaning to tell you, Penny, you look absolutely stunning this evening. Red is your color, as people more fashionable than I would say."

Penny tried to hide her shock. Sheldon was paying her a compliment? Were they in a parallel universe? He could be so sweet sometimes, her Sheldon.

"Thank you, sweetie. That means a lot to me. And I would also like to say that you look very handsome in your suit, as usual. Any woman would be proud to dance with you."

Sheldon…well, he didn't smile, but the corners of his mouth did flutter a bit. It looked like he was going to say something else, maybe something profound, but at that moment the song ended and Amy and Leonard came back to claim their respective partners.

It was just another moment in a long series of moments. Sooner or later, the things left unsaid and the unresolved tension in the air when they were together, it would either explode or fade away. One of those options was going to need to happen soon, or the moments would be lost forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments! Any and all feedback is always appreciated.


	6. Chapter 6

On Halloween, as usual, everyone went to the party at the comic book store. Penny always dreaded these parties, but Sheldon and Leonard always had so much fun, and maybe it would be different this year. It wasn't, of course, but at least she looked hot. For no apparent reason, she and Leonard decided to dress up as a doctor and a nurse. She was a sexy nurse, obviously.

While Leonard got into a heated conversation with Stuart and Captain Underpants about the first appearance of Spiderman, or...something, Penny went outside to get some fresh air and to check Facebook on her phone to see who was having more fun than she was, which, at this point, was probably almost everyone.

A few minutes later, Sheldon came storming out. He let Amy talk him into a Bill Gates costume, and she was Melinda Gates. Dorkiest costumes ever, quite possibly.

"What's wrong, sweetie? You look mad."

"Well, of course I'm mad! Raj and Howard were talking about the Flash and how he-"

"Sheldon, let me stop you there-I have no idea what you're talking about, or what you're going to talk about. But I'm sure you're right. And I absolutely take your side." Penny had found this was the quickest way to shut down Sheldon's endless rants. Just as she anticipated, he nodded and looked a bit smug.

Penny looked up and wished she could see some stars for once in this godforsaken city. In Nebraska, she was always fascinated by the sky. Just yet another something she lost along the way.

"Wow, it's kind of chilly out here, don't you think?" Penny said, and shivered.

Sheldon looked at her scornfully. "Well, you barely have on any clothing, Penny. Of course it's cold. Here, take my jacket. I don't need it, I worked up quite a sweat arguing with Raj."

"Oh, that's not really necessary-" Too late. Sheldon was already taking it off and helping Penny put it on. It was such a simple gesture, but it made Penny smile. He was still, after all these years, surprising her.

The two of them exchanged a look that went on a bit too long, and then broke their gaze. Penny looked at the sky again and wondered if she could find any answers in it. Sheldon looked up as well, possibly naming all the constellations in his head.

A few minutes later, Leonard and Amy came outside, wishing to claim their vagabond partners.

"Sheldon, come back inside, Raj is ready to apologize for what he said about the Flash," Amy said, trying to grab Sheldon's hand and pull him back in.

"Fine, I will accept his apology. I am glad he understands the error of his ways." Sheldon said, and let himself be dragged back inside.

Leonard came behind Penny and gave her a hug from behind. She smiled; it felt nice. For a moment, they enjoyed the peace and quiet of the night. Of course, that didn't last long.

"Is that Sheldon's jacket?" Leonard asked, and not very happily.

"Well, yeah. I was cold and he gave me his jacket." She shrugged, not seeing the problem.

"Penny, if you're cold, come get _my_ jacket. That's why I'm here."

Penny chuckled. God, Leonard's caveman approach to dating was so annoying. She was going to borrow anybody's jacket at any time and she didn't give a crap what Leonard thought about that, but it wasn't worth arguing about. After all these years, Penny was learning to choose her battles. Leonard looked at her anxiously, expecting a reply of some kind, but she didn't give him the satisfaction. Instead, they went back inside to enjoy the rest of the party, ignoring the growing distance between them just as they always had before.

*****

As the night progressed, Sheldon would occasionally look over at Penny with his jacket on, and it would give him a feeling he didn't know how to describe. Familiarity, or joy, or fascination...it was one of those things. All he really knew for sure was that she looked good in it, and probably looked good out of it, too. Before the summer; before Leonard left and everything was normal and fine, Sheldon never would have entertained this kind of thought. But things change. Even him, every once in a while.

*****

It wasn't a conventional kind of love, and it didn't happen overnight. It wasn't like either one of them woke up one day and said, "I think I'll fall in love with my neighbor today." It happened in moments. Little disruptions in the time continuum where they fell in love over and over again, until the moment ended and was instantly forgotten until the next one happened. Like the jacket, or the first time Penny saw Sheldon in his black suit, or when Sheldon attended Penny's play and finally experienced how remarkable she truly was. It was in every adhesive duck (or lack of), every hot dog and spaghetti dinner, every physics and/or acting lesson, in every way they took care of each other over the years without even realizing it.

As October turned to November, Halloween into Thanksgiving, something was changing-and it wasn't just the weather. The feelings that were once only felt in passing were getting harder to ignore. Penny really was trying to stick to her promise of throwing herself into the relationship with Leonard, but the damage was done. Everything that happened over the summer was too important to ignore. Even Sheldon could tell something was different about everyone.

But what were they supposed to do about it? Sheldon never had a girlfriend before; how the hell was he supposed to know how to break up with one, or even if he _should_ break up with Amy? And Penny didn't know if she actually wanted to date Sheldon, anyway. In the three years Sheldon and Amy had been together, Penny was an onlooker to what she perceived to be a strange and bewildering couple. She didn't know how Amy put up with him, really. Penny could deal with a lot of stuff in a relationship, but lack of intimacy was not one of them. Sex was an important factor to Penny's life, and to know it didn't appeal at all to Sheldon was a huge turn-off. Yet she also knew sex wasn't the only important aspect of a relationship, although she was starting to wonder if Leonard actually knew that. Penny respected Sheldon; she loved picking his brain and talking to him about the things he enjoyed and learning more about them. How would that work if they got together? These were the things she'd think about when laying awake in the middle of the night next to a man who deserved more.

It was the week after Thanksgiving and Penny was sitting on her ass, drinking a glass of wine and trying to take her mind off of everything that was going wrong in her life, including the ever-increasing pain in her stomach. Although it wasn't quite time yet, she chalked it up to an extreme case of cramps and tried to forget about it. She hoped it was nothing serious; Amy's birthday party was in a few hours and Penny knew Amy wanted her "bestie" by her side.

Penny's phone rang, and she noted with happiness that it was her mother, who always made Penny feel better, sometimes just by hearing her voice.

"Hi, Mom. How are things?"

"Oh, just fine. Your father's off with your brother in Kansas; it's deer season, you know. So I'm a little lonely today. Where's that boyfriend of yours?"

Penny sighed. "He's with Raj and Howard at a Lord of the Rings marathon at the movie theater. I just spent four hours on my feet serving cheeseburgers to tourists, and he gets to sit in an air-conditioned theater eating popcorn." Even though Penny knew Leonard worked hard during the week and deserved to have fun on his days off, she still found his choice of activities somewhat irritating.

"Oh, honey, it's not getting any better? You know what you need to do. Don't wait too long. You'll regret it."

Penny had gone home for Thanksgiving and she and her mother had a very long talk about the state of her relationship. It was finally becoming clear to Penny (and her mother) that this "relationship reboot" was not going to work out, and maybe that was for the best. She had given it almost two more years; she had tried her hardest, and it wasn't what she hoped it would be. It was everything-the separation between them during the summer, the girl Leonard met when he was gone, the little detail of how they had practically nothing in common, and, of course, her growing attraction to Sheldon. At this point, she was pretty much just waiting for the right time to have "the talk" with Leonard. This was just making her stomach hurt even more.

"I know, I know. But he'll be devastated. And he makes this face when he's really sad that just makes me want to wither up and die," Penny said, cringing at the very thought of the expression.

"Your father makes the same face. I know it well. But the difference is, I love him in spite of it. But you know it's the right thing to do, Penny. For both of you. And remember what I told you. Your bedroom at the house is still empty. If you want to come home..."

"I know," Penny said again. She was seriously considering going back to Nebraska. Things with the TV show weren't working out and they were on the brink of getting canceled, her relationship with Leonard was...what it was, the Cheesecake Factory was never her dream job, and nothing was the way she pictured it when she moved to California to become a big star. Maybe it was time go home and work at the bait and tackle shop with her dad. Why did she think she could ever do anything else?

"Hold on, mom. I'll be right back." Penny flung herself towards the bathroom, where she threw up everything she'd eaten that day. She sat by the toilet for a minute, trying to will herself into feeling better. But this wasn't going away. And it was really starting not to feel like a normal kind of sick.

She practically crawled back to her phone and croaked, "I'm back."

Her mother sounded concerned. "What's wrong? Were you just throwing up? Does your stomach hurt?"

"It hurts," Penny managed to say. "A lot."

"Oh, baby. I wish I could be there. First of all, are you sure it's not morning sickness?"

If Penny hadn't felt so crappy, she would have laughed. "I'm sure."

"Well, I think I may know what the problem is. It's probably your gallbladder. Your sister, your aunt and I have all had gallstones and we all had to get it removed. It's hereditary. I guess you've been in luck until now."

"Oh, great," Penny said, feeling more and more crappy by the second. "So what do I do?"

"You need to get to the emergency room, I'm afraid. Call someone to take you, and then call me back. I'm so sorry, honey. If you need surgery, you'll know I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thanks, mommy," Penny whispered, feeling pathetic. She hung up and tried calling Leonard, even though she knew his phone would be on vibrate while he was at the theater. He didn't answer. In desperation, she texted him a few times with no luck. It was at that point when she knew that yet again, she was going to have to rely on Sheldon in an emergency situation. Penny had no choice, he was literally across the hall and she needed him.

*****

Sheldon was working on a paper for work when he heard a weak knock on the door. He pondered ignoring it because nobody he knew knocked like that, but he got up to check anyway. He opened the door to see a very pale, very weak Penny.

"Sheldon, I need your help. I'm going to need you to take me to the emergency room...again. I'm sorry, I know how you feel about driving, I'll make it up to you or something." Penny handed him her keys and looked as though she was about to pass out.

"Okay, okay, I can do this. What's wrong, by the way? You don't look so good," Sheldon said, putting his arm around her and helping her down the countless flights of stairs.

"It's my gallbladder, I think. It just hurts so much, and it won't stop hurting, and I just want to fling myself down these stairs so it can stop hurting."

"Oh, that's not necessary! My mother and my sister both had this same affliction. It will hurt for a few weeks but you'll feel as good as new once they get it out of you." Sheldon didn't know that for sure, but Penny was in panic mode, and he wanted to help ease her pain. They made it to her car, and Sheldon was pleased to see that the check engine light was no longer blinking. During the summer, he accompanied Penny to get the car checked out and repaired. She was working on paying him back, but he was just relieved that she finally got the cursed thing fixed.

Sheldon remembered the way to the hospital and tried to get there as quickly and safely as possible. He didn't want another ticket, although the one he got on their previous emergency room excursion did lead to his collectible autographed Stan Lee restraining order. Penny sat uncomfortably in the front seat, whimpering and looking like death. He wished he could make it go away; she was in such pain and he would have done anything to make her feel better. All Sheldon could do to assist was concentrate on the road and get them to the hospital in one piece.

At the hospital, Sheldon helped Penny fill out her paperwork, and then the waiting game began. It was 4:00 on a Saturday afternoon and the ER waiting room was almost completely full. Penny tried to put herself in all kinds of positions to get herself comfortable, but nothing was working. She was just in constant agony. Knowing that she needed him like she did before, Sheldon took her hand and whispered, "It'll be okay, Penny. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but these doctors have probably taken out a thousand gallbladders."

"But I'm going to have to have surgery, right?" Penny whispered, looking a little terrified. Sheldon was surprised; he thought Penny wasn't afraid of anything. It was kind of refreshing to know that she wasn't always made of stone.

"Yes, you probably will, but they'll give you some drugs and you won't feel a thing." He was trying to be soothing but he didn't know if he could pull it off. Penny was so sick, she didn't even notice anyway.

"I want my mommy," she said, and started crying. Sheldon put his arm around her and didn't even mind the closeness. He took his phone out of his pocket and looked for Penny's mother's number, which he kept just in case of emergency. Penny's mother asked him for the details and assured him she'd be on the next plane out of Nebraska. He didn't call Raj or Howard to see if they could get in touch with Leonard. He didn't call Amy to let her know he'd probably be late to her party. All he wanted to do was make Penny feel better. This was a strange side to him that he didn't know so well, but he liked it. It made him feel like an adult. It made him feel protective. And it made him feel good.

Nearly two hours after they got to the ER, Penny was finally seen by a doctor. Sheldon held her hand the entire time she described her symptoms to the doctor, through her ultrasound to find the stones, through that unbearable time between getting diagnosed and waiting for the painkillers to kick in. Penny's problem was in fact gallstones, and she was to have surgery to remove her gallbladder in the morning. In the meantime, she wasn't allowed to eat or drink. All she could think about was downing a gallon of water, but nobody would let her have any. After she practically begged for it, the nurse finally let her have a few pieces of ice to suck on. It was torture.

Sheldon sat in an uncomfortable chair next to Penny's bed and read a magazine while Penny slept. He hadn't checked his phone in hours, and when he finally did, he saw at least 15 texts from everyone he knew. It was then he realized that he and Penny had completely missed Amy's birthday party, and all of his friends were frantic when they couldn't find them.

Sheldon sighed and called Amy. He knew it wasn't going to be a fun conversation, but what could he have done differently?

"Sheldon! Where the hell are you?! Where is Penny? I had so many plans for this party and neither of you are here. Do you realize how upset I am right now?"

There were a number of things Sheldon wanted to say to Amy at that moment, and none of them were very nice at all. Instead, he just gave her the facts.

"Hello, Amy. We're at the hospital. Penny was in agonizing pain and as it turns out, she will have her gallbladder removed tomorrow morning. I am sitting with her now. She's asleep."

Amy gasped. "Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry. Really, Sheldon, I'm sorry I just overreacted. Leonard and I will be there as soon as we can. Sorry!" She hung up, and Sheldon sighed again. It was like riding a roller coaster, this relationship with Amy. And he was starting to wonder if maybe the ride should end.

*****

A few minutes later, Penny stirred, and opened her eyes. It was a relief to see Sheldon sitting by her side. When he noticed she was awake, he put down his phone and smiled at her. "Well, good evening. Are you feeling any better?"

"I'm so thirsty. Other than that, I'm hanging in there. Morphine is a hell of a drug."

"I'll take your word for it," Sheldon said. "Do you need anything? A wash cloth, maybe? When my sister was in the hospital, a cool wash cloth always seemed to make her feel better."

"That would be lovely," Penny said hoarsely. Sheldon sprung up and found a wash cloth, ran it under the cold water, brought it back and put it on her forehead carefully. And at that moment, that very moment, Penny knew she was totally in love with Sheldon Cooper. There was no denying it anymore. She loved him. In every possible way. What she was going to do with this information, she didn't know. But at least she had something to start with.

"Ahh. That feels amazing. Thank you."

Sheldon nodded and sat back down in the uncomfortable chair.

"And I don't just mean thank you for the wash cloth. And not even for being so good with taking me to the hospital. I mean, for everything. For being my friend. For everything you do for me. I just...I love you, Sheldon. You know? I really do love you. I love you so much that you don't even have to say that you love me, too. I know that's hard for you. And before you say it's the morphine that's making me say that, it's not. I've wanted to tell you this for a while. I...love you."

Sheldon didn't know what he could possibly say that would be enough for what she just told him, but thankfully at that moment, Leonard walked into the room, looking miserable and scared.

"Oh, my god, Penny! I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you! I can't believe you've had to endure this all day without anyone to help you. All because I was at a stupid movie! I will never forgive myself."

"It's okay. Sheldon was here," Penny said, and smiled at her knight in shining armor. "He did such a good job."

"Oh. Well, thank you, Sheldon. That was very helpful of you. Look, Amy, Howard, Bernie, and Raj are all outside waiting to come in. Is that okay?"

"Of course," Penny said. "I would love that."

Leonard bounded off to find them. In the few seconds between him leaving and the rest of the gang coming in, Sheldon leaned down and whispered in Penny's ear, "I love you, too." Penny smiled, and didn't stop smiling until everyone left and she drifted off to sleep again.

The next 24 hours were a blur. The nurses came in and took her blood every couple of hours and Penny wasn't able to get enough sleep to matter. Sheldon and the rest of her friends went home after she assured them she'd be okay until the morning, and her mother finally made it to Pasadena an hour or so later. Penny was so relieved to see her mother, she burst out sobbing as soon as she saw her.

In the morning, the doctor woke up Penny and said it was time. Her mother held her hand while they gave Penny the anesthesia to put her back to sleep. And, a few hours later, Penny's gallbladder was gone. She didn't feel _that_ bad after she woke up, but she didn't feel like Miss Universe, either. She was finally able to drink water and eat Popsicles, which both tasted better than anything ever had or would.

Penny fell back asleep after eating, and when she woke up, Leonard was sitting by her side. This should have been good; it should have made her happy. But it wasn't exactly surprising that she only felt irritated at his presence. It was time to talk, and he wasn't going to like what she had to say.

Leonard was watching Mission Impossible 4 on her TV. "Hey," Penny said, and he looked at her and smiled. "Hey, sleepy head. How are you feeling?"

"I've been better."

"Well, yeah. I'm sure. Do you need anything?"

"Can you get me a wash cloth, please?" Leonard got up and hunted for a wash cloth. When he brought it back, it wasn't even wet, much less cold. For some reason, this was her breaking point. It was now or never.

"We need to talk," Penny said, and Leonard sighed.

"Damn. I knew this was coming. Look, I'm sorry I wasn't here for you yesterday. I promise it won't ever happen again. I feel like such an asshat. But don't...don't give up on me just because I didn't know you were here. I came as quickly as I could once I found out!"

"Leonard! Please stop talking. I'm not...giving up on you. But I am giving up on us. I'm sorry. I just can't do it anymore." There. Finally.

Leonard was silent, but his face was telling a thousand different stories. Finally he said, "Look, we can talk about it when you get out of the hospital. You're on so many painkillers right now, and I don't think-" He stopped when he saw Penny's face. "Come on, Penny. We worked so hard to get here. I love you, you love me. Why are you giving up now?"

"Because. Something's changed between us since you got back this summer. It's not just that girl you met on the boat, although honestly, that did really bother me. We're just not the same anymore. We both changed, and that's okay. I do love you and I always will, but we need to stop trying to make this work."

Leonard looked heartbroken. But it was true. And it had nothing to do with Sheldon. Okay, it had a lot to do with Sheldon but he didn't need to know that, at least not yet.

"Is there anything I can say to convince you not to do this?" He asked hopefully. Ugh, that was not attractive. That was something about Leonard she'd grown far too irritated with-he never just took it like a man.

"No. I've been thinking about it for a while, and-"

"A while?! Why haven't we talked about this before, then? Why haven't you said anything? God, Penny, you sure know how to blindside a guy."

"Oh, come on, we talk about it all the time," Penny said, her annoyance growing. Really, he wanted to start an argument while she was in a hospital bed? "And I know you're not blindsided. And guess what? When you gave me your phone to text your mom for you last week, I saw a text from Mandy. What, do you think I'm blind? She'll be in California in January. Lucky you."

"That's...not what you think!" Leonard said. Oh. Good one.

"I don't care. I'm done, okay? I love you, but I'm done." It felt good to say that. Really good.

"I can't believe this is happening," he whispered. She didn't say anything. And it wasn't like she could get out of bed and comfort him. Even if she wanted to. Instead, they were both silent for a long, long time. And finally, Leonard got up, kissed her on the cheek, and walked out. There wasn't anything else to say. It was over, and Penny was relieved.


	7. Chapter 7

Amy and Sheldon were at his place, watching a stimulating show on the Discovery channel about the rapid and mysterious disappearance of the bee population. When it was over, Sheldon yawned and said, "Well, that was fascinating, but I think I'll go to bed now."

"Oh...is that an invitation?" Amy asked coyly. Well, as coyly as she was capable of, anyway.

Sheldon was not blind to what Amy was asking; she had gotten pretty brazen about these things lately. But he still wasn't ready to give her what she wanted. He just wasn't.

"Not really, no. Tomorrow's a work day, you know."

Amy frowned. Of course he had disappointed her yet again. He was starting to lose count of the myriad of ways he was always disappointing her.

"Sheldon, don't you think maybe I could stay over, just for tonight? No funny business, I promise. It would be nice if my boyfriend wasn't totally disgusted by the idea of sharing a bed with me."

"No, I don't think that's a good idea. I have to wake up earlier than usual in the morning. And you didn't bring any pajamas. What are you going to sleep in?" Sheldon knew Amy was getting impatient, but what could he do? He had a routine that he needed to stick to. She'd always understood that before, why was this becoming such a problem? He longed for the days when they talked on Skype about important things, how they had a connection based on science and intellect, when their whole relationship wasn't based on something he wasn't even comfortable with in the first place.

Amy exhaled. "You know, a few months ago I asked you to think about the intimacy issue and how I would like it to happen before my birthday. Well, my birthday was two weeks ago. Which, by the way, you missed because you were at the hospital. With Penny."

"Well, of course I was at the hospital with Penny," Sheldon said, his irritation growing. "Why wouldn't I be? She needed my help."

Amy frowned. "You don't have to get defensive, Sheldon. I know she's been sad about her break-up with Leonard and she's sought comfort in your friendship. But occasionally it does seem like she's your girlfriend, not me."

"Don't be ridiculous, Amy. Penny and I have been friends for years, there's nothing between us." Sheldon didn't like this conversation. He didn't like Amy's accusations, because it was hitting a little too close to home.

"I know there's nothing between you two! What a ridiculous thought," Amy said, and chuckled. "Can you imagine the two of you together? That's hysterical."

Ugh, this whole conversation was so annoying. Sheldon's feelings for Penny were confusing and exhilarating and new and weird, and he didn't like Amy judging him for that. He was going to correct Amy, but she continued.

"I've been extremely patient, Sheldon. And I'm not trying to coerce or force you into doing something you're not comfortable with, but are you even not going to consider spending the night with me any time soon? This relationship has to go somewhere, or else it's going nowhere. I read that in a book once."

Sheldon had literally nothing to say about this. Maybe once upon a time he did ponder sharing intimate moments with Amy, but at some point that just sort of faded away. He enjoyed having intellectual conversations with her, enjoyed her companionship, enjoyed her cooking, and overall didn't particularly mind being in a relationship with Amy. But at that moment, he understood that none of that was enough to matter.

"I'm sorry, Amy, but i don't believe I can offer you the things you are wanting right now. I know that is frustrating and I can't say I blame you. I don't know what else to say." Sheldon said. He was so insanely tired of this conversation happening over and over again. But it seemed as though Amy wasn't ready to let it go.

"Okay, I had a feeling you'd say that," Amy said, and reached for his hand. "I don't want to give up on us, Sheldon. I think we make sense, and I think you agree with me. So I want you to take a few weeks to think about it. I know we're not exactly Ross and Rachel, but I want to take a break. So let's give it some time, and...Christmas day, I'll come over and we'll decide what to do. What do you think?"

After being forced over the years by Penny to watch almost every damn episode of Friends, Sheldon unfortunately knew who Ross and Rachel were, and what Amy was referencing. Sheldon knew in his heart that Amy wasn't really his lobster, but she was so determined, so optimistic. He didn't want to disappoint her. And who knows, maybe after a few weeks, he'd miss her so much that he'd change his mind. It was a long-shot, but stranger things have happened.

"Fine, I'll agree to these terms, but may I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Is intimacy really _that_ important to you? Are you sure we can't just enjoy a relationship free of coitus and hand-holding and just respect each other for our minds and intellectual bond? It was what you wanted in the beginning, why did the parameters of the relationship have to change?" Sheldon was genuinely curious.

Amy exhaled. "Well, I've become quite attracted to you, Sheldon. And I have needs, and while I'm sure I can eventually find someone else to meet them, I'd rather it be you. I feel like there's only one thing missing between us, and if you just open yourself up to the opportunity, who knows...it might surprise you."

"I suppose that makes sense," Sheldon said, and for the moment, it actually did. Maybe...maybe he could give it a chance. Then again, maybe not.

Amy smiled, kissed him on the cheek, and they said their good-byes. They were now officially on a break, and Sheldon had some thinking to do.

*****

Penny was sitting at a table on set of Starlight City, eating a salad and reading the latest Walking Dead comic book she stole from Sheldon. She had a scene in an hour and nothing much to do until then. In the beginning, Penny tried her absolute hardest to make friends, but it was harder than she anticipated. So eventually she gave up and gradually started dreading going to work on the show, which was the exact opposite of how she wanted to feel. Sometimes she really did wonder what the point was.

She spotted William out of the corner of her eye and inwardly sighed. She prepared herself for the daily pick-up line.

"Hey, Penny. Why are you eating salad? You're so thin already!" William said, and winked.

Penny pasted on a smile and said, "The camera adds 10 pounds, William. But thanks anyway."

He was harmless, really. Persistent, but harmless. He was kind of like a fly that buzzed around her head for a few minutes every day. A fly swatter wasn't even necessary.

"So...I heard that you're single now. That's fantastic, really. I don't think I've heard such good news before in my life."

Penny chuckled. "Again, that's nice of you to say. But I'm actually quite enjoying the single life lately. It's good for me. I'm reconnecting with my girlfriends, getting some "me" time in. It's great." _So please go away and don't ask me what you're about to ask me._

"Oh, good, good. There's nothing sexier than a girl who owns her singlehood. So maybe you'd like to accompany me to a party in Malibu on Friday night? Lots of eligible men there, Penny. Including myself." He chuckled, and Penny wanted to throw up.

Penny decided she'd had enough of this, finally. If she could break up with Leonard, she could tell off her gross boss. "William, I really do appreciate all the flattering things you say about me, but I'm not ready to date again. And besides, we work together on the show and I wouldn't be comfortable in that kind of situation."

William frowned for a moment but quickly recovered. "Oh, well, that's cool. I completely understand. Um...see you later." And he walked away. Quickly. Penny was relieved that was all it took to get him to leave her alone. But she was also worried about her future on Starlight City. If the show even had a future, that is. Once again, she wondered if it was time to go back to Nebraska. At least when creepy men hit on her there, it didn't affect her career. Of course, she'd be leaving Sheldon behind, and that was heartbreaking to think about. She was kind of hopelessly in love with the guy. But if he insisted on being with Amy, there was nothing she could do. She wasn't the kind of woman who waited around for a man to make up his mind.

All Penny knew for sure was things weren't working out for her in Pasadena, and she'd have to come up with a plan soon before things got even worse.

*****

Sheldon Cooper had no idea what to do with his life.

It was Christmas Eve. Sheldon's mother was, as usual, disappointed that he wasn't coming to Texas to celebrate Jesus with the family, but he had other things on his mind this year. Presumably, Amy was waiting for him to make a decision and he knew it was time he finally made one. They'd been together a long time and she deserved as much. They had a perfectly comfortable relationship; Sheldon enjoyed her company for the most part, appreciated and admired her intelligence, and wouldn't mind keeping her around for many more years to come. But during their much-needed break, Sheldon had put a lot of thought and soul searching and anguishing into the matter. He now knew one thing for certain-he was not attracted to Amy Farrah Fowler, and probably never would be. He assumed that would probably pose a problem for the future, and, he supposed, for the present as well. He had less than 24 hours to come up with an answer. Sheldon knew he should do the right thing and let Amy go, but he just wasn't sure he was ready to do that.

Maybe Penny would know what to do. Over the years, Sheldon was surprised to find that he found comfort in Penny's advice. She might not have always known what to do with her own life, but she always seemed pretty wise when it came to his.

So on that chilly evening on Christmas Eve, Sheldon marched across the hall and knocked on his neighbor's door.

Knock knock knock. "Penny." Knock knock knock. "Penny." Knock knock knock. "Penny."

Penny took her time answering the door. She'd been moving a little slower lately, and it wasn't just because she was being careful after her surgery. Sheldon knew she was at least a little devastated after breaking up with Leonard. For some reason, this only drew him to her further. He wanted to take care of her or something. It was a foreign feeling, as most of the things he felt about Penny was. Maybe someday he'd get used to that. Part of him didn't want to.

"Hi, sweetie," she said, genuinely smiling. He loved her smile. "It's nice to see you. Come on in, I'd love some company. I'm a little lonely tonight."

"Why didn't you go home for Christmas?" Sheldon asked, trying to get comfortable on Penny's tiny sofa.

"Oh, well, I was going to Jersey with Leonard, and then we were going to Atlantic City for New Years," Penny said sadly. "I'm more upset about Atlantic City than I am about Christmas. Beverly only likes me when she's drunk. I'm sure she's thrilled Leonard is free to find some one more suitable for him now."

Penny took a sip of her tea. Sheldon noticed she wasn't drinking as much wine lately. It made him feel like a good influence on her.

"Anyway, what about you? Ooh, you have one more day to let Amy know what you've decided. Have you figured it out yet?"

Sheldon was momentarily puzzled as to how Penny knew something so personal about his relationship problems, but of course Amy told Penny all about it. They were besties, after all.

"That's why I'm here, actually," Sheldon said. "I wanted to consult with someone who has so much experience with intimacy." Penny frowned. "Even if I were willing to give Amy what she wanted, I wouldn't know what to do."

"What do you mean, 'do'? You start kissing her and take it from there. It's not rocket science, Sheldon."

"Well, of course not, rocket science is laughable, I could do it in my sleep," Sheldon said, and Penny rolled her eyes.

"Haven't you ever seen people make out in movies or on TV? I refuse to believe you don't know what to 'do'."

"I suppose I'm aware of what occurs during these situations, but I don't know the mechanics of it. When it's supposed to happen. How it's supposed to happen. How long it's supposed to last. I don't like going into a situation that I can't control."

Penny exhaled. "Oh, Sheldon, it's not that complicated. Don't you have any urge to sit down with Amy and just...kiss her? See what happens? All Amy wants is for you to try, not be an expert from the beginning."

Sheldon shrugged. He just didn't know what to say or do anymore. All he knew for sure was that he enjoyed the warmth of Penny sitting next to him, enjoyed looking into her eyes, enjoyed smelling her scent for hours after he left her apartment. If only he could feel that way about Amy...it was starting to occur to him that maybe that was the problem. Maybe he didn't want intimacy with Amy because he wanted intimacy with Penny. No, that...that wasn't right. _Was it?_

Penny looked thoughtful. "Okay, how about this...maybe you can practice with me, and that way, you can decide if it's something you want to do with Amy. And if you do, she'll be impressed by your skills. Or something." Sheldon enjoyed the way she was blushing when she said this.

"You mean...practice kissing? With each other?" Sheldon knew that was exactly what she was saying, but he just wanted to give himself a few more seconds to absorb the implications of such a thing. Because all of a sudden, it was starting to occur to him that all he wanted in the world was to "practice" with Penny.

"Well...yeah. Obviously only if you feel comfortable with it. And we can stop at any time. I just want to help, you know? I can show you a few techniques you can use with Amy."

"I think...that would be practical," Sheldon said. Penny smiled, and the two of them scooted a bit closer together. Penny took his hand. He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. He took a deep breath, counted to three, and kissed her.

*****

Penny knew she was only asking for trouble here; that this would probably only end badly. But she couldn't stand it anymore-she had to know what it was like to kiss Sheldon Cooper. For months, she had listened to Amy complain about the lack of intimacy in her relationship, and now here Penny was, making the moves on Amy's boyfriend. Well, technically they were on a break. While Penny was always on Rachel's side when it came to the break, now she was starting to understand Ross' point of view a lot better.

She wanted to help Sheldon out, sure, but she also was suddenly desperate to have some kind of connection with him, even if it was just for a few minutes that she'd always look back on and sigh about while Sheldon and Amy walked into the sunset together. Not to mention she thought there was a 50 percent chance that Sheldon would find her idea repulsive and get up and storm out. She never really knew with him. Did anyone, really?

But he seemed to like the idea, and now they were kissing. Well, kind of. He was...touching her lips with his lips. No tongue. He wasn't even opening his mouth, actually, just kind of bumping hers. It wasn't great, but it was something.

She broke their "kiss" and Sheldon said, "Was that not agreeable? What do I need to change? The pressure of my lips? The length of time? What-"

"That was a good start, sweetie," Penny said, smiling. "But again, you're overthinking it. It's more than your lips, okay? It's your tongue, it's your hands, it's your body, it's your mind. When you're kissing someone, it's not about your intellectual life, it's about your emotional one. Forget about logic and just...kiss. You know?"

"Not particularly," he said.

"Okay, well...let's try again."

This next time was better, but it wasn't great. He kind of kissed the side of her mouth? And then the other side? But not really in the middle? But Penny was patient. She understood he was new at this and needed guidance. And somehow she found that so completely arousing, it almost consumed her.

"That was...well, that wasn't better. Look, when you think about kissing someone, what exactly do you picture it? Do you picture it?

"Well, whenever I thought of this moment in my head, it always went much different than how it just happened."

Penny was confused. "You mean when you think of the moment with Amy? Well, I'm sure you think of doing it in her apartment, not mine. So I can see how this would be different. Maybe we can try it at your apartment. Leonard's still out of town, right?"

Sheldon looked down and didn't say anything, and she knew he wasn't talking about Amy. When he glanced up again, she saw the way he was looking at her and how she was reflected in his eyes, and it took her breath away. Because finally, finally she knew they were on the same page. This was the real deal. No matter what happened with Amy, this moment was theirs, and it would always be theirs. Nobody could ever take it away from them.

It was time. Now or never. "Okay, you know what, Just...kiss me. Don't think about how it would feel with Amy, or even about Amy at all. For just this moment, think about kissing me. It's me, Sheldon. It's us. Don't be afraid. Show me the way you think about it in your head. Show me."

Penny watched as Sheldon tried to collect himself. He looked so vulnerable, yet also kind of...dangerous. She never wanted anyone so badly in her life.

"Here I go," he said, and leaned in and kissed her gently. She met his lips, and it was finally everything she'd been imagining since her infatuation with Sheldon started. There was an electricity there that she hadn't been expecting, but now couldn't imagine living without. Sheldon was kissing her, and it was good. It was more than good, it was...intoxicating. Once he felt comfortable, he started exploring with his tongue, and while he was kind of clumsy with it, they eventually found a rhythm. Soon they were tangled up together, his hands were in her hair, her hands were under his shirt on his warm back, and everything was what it was supposed to be, at least for that moment frozen in time.

"Wow," Sheldon said when they managed to come up for air. "That was..."

"I know," Penny said, but she wasn't ready to stop, so she kissed him again, and it was good again, and it lasted for a long time, and she never wanted to stop. She couldn't help it; it wasn't that he was a good kisser, it was that they were just so good together. They brought it out of each other. Like missing pieces of a puzzle.

When they did eventually stop, they kind of collapsed into each other's arms. It turned out that Sheldon was just fine with intimacy, not just with Amy. It just took the right girl to bring it out of him. Oh, she was the worst bestie ever.

Penny wanted to say about a thousand things to Sheldon in that moment.

_"Don't go back to Amy."_

_"I want to be with you."_

_"Don't go back to Amy."_

_"Let's run away to Vegas together and kiss forever."_

_"Don't go back to Amy."_

But she knew that ultimately, the decision was up to him. He had to be a big boy now. If he wanted to be in a sexless relationship with Amy for the rest of his life, that was his prerogative. Penny knew that leaving the choice up to him was hopeless-he would never even think of betraying Leonard and breaking Amy's heart by being in a relationship with Penny-but what was she going to say? "Don't pick Amy. Pick me. Let's be together. I choose you. Please choose me." Sheldon needed to figure it out on his own.

Instead of addressing the huge elephant in the room, Penny turned on the TV and found a rerun of Star Trek TNG. It was nice seeing Wil on TV. He symbolized hope to Penny; ever since he encouraged her in his own way to break up with Leonard instead of stringing him along, Penny always looked at him as a beacon.

Maybe Sheldon felt the same way, because he muted the TV and turned to her. His eyes were hopeful but cautious. He was going to say something that was either going to shatter her world or make her devastatingly happy, she just knew it. "Remember what you said to me at the hospital?"

Penny thought back to the night of Gallbladder Extraction 2013. "Yeah, I said thank you, and that I love you."

"Well...I feel the same way. But Penny, I'm a scientist. None of this is logical to me. Although we have chemistry and I want to explore that hypothesis, I'm not sure how...I mean, I don't want to hurt Leonard or Amy, and..."

Penny took his hand and kissed him again gently. Oh, he was just so adorable and mysteriously sexy and confused and she wanted to drag him into the bedroom but she knew even if they were able to figure out how to be together, the bedroom was way, way in their future. And, she decided, maybe waiting wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

"I don't know how it would work, sweetie," Penny said. "But we'll figure it out together, okay? We'll go slow, and we'll figure out what works for us, and...we can kiss as much as we want. Whenever we want." To prove it, she kissed him again. He clung to her, and they fell back on the sofa, and it was good and it was right. It wasn't going to be easy, but it would be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might seem familiar to you if you have read Pandora's Box, but it's not really the same, I swear! It's two different situations. And what can I say, the idea of Penny teaching Sheldon how to kiss is one of my things. It's just...a huge turn-on, let's just admit it. It's just really fucking hot. So yes, I went there, and hopefully you were able to, too. Thank you and have a nice day.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience! I know it's taking forever. There should be maybe three more chapters or so. Thanks for reading, and thank you for your feedback.

Something happened in Penny's apartment the night she and Sheldon kissed for the first time, something she never saw coming. Kissing Sheldon Cooper had opened a door she couldn't-and didn't want to-close. However, Penny knew if she kept kissing him, she'd want more than he could ever give. So she finally pulled away and tried to compose herself.

"It's getting kind of late," she said, not able to look Sheldon in the eye. "We'll talk tomorrow, okay?"

"Yes, I suppose that would be prudent at this time," he said, looking disheveled and adorable and hot in a way only he could pull off.

Penny got up to see him out. Unexpectedly, Sheldon turned and gave her a hug. A long hug, too, in which he reciprocated and seemed to almost even enjoy. Penny loved Sheldon's hugs and how rare they were. When she got one, it was like she really earned it. Sheldon kissed her on the cheek and said, "Well, good night. This was certainly a fascinating evening."

"Yes...yes, it was," Penny said, smiling. She wanted to kiss him again, but she also didn't want to overwhelm the guy. Hopefully they'd have time for that soon. Plenty of time.

Sheldon gave her one last lingering look that made her heart melt, and then opened the door—and stepped right into chaos. Apparently, Amy didn't want to wait until tomorrow for Sheldon's decision.

"Sheldon! I've been waiting for you out here for like an hour. You haven't been answering your phone. What's going on?" Amy was sitting outside Sheldon's door, with a huge textbook in her lap, looking all kinds of confused and angry. Penny knew this was not going to end well. They were pretty much busted.

"Amy, hello," Sheldon said, caught completely off guard. "I was not expecting you this evening."

"Well, it's Christmas Eve and I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep in anticipation of our conversation tomorrow. I thought we just do it tonight and then spend the holidays together, if we could agree on the terms of intimacy in the relationship. So, I'll ask again. What's going on?"

"Oh, well, Penny was having a problem with her physics homework and I was assisting her with it as such." He was such a terrible liar.

Amy was not buying this at all. With every word, she was looking more and more suspicious.

"Penny's not taking physics," Amy said. "And why are you both so...pink?"

Everything in Penny just wanted this moment to be over; she wanted to tell Amy something, anything that would make this awkwardness end. Penny had perfected the art of lying over the years-she was, after all, an actress. It came especially in handy during her rebellious teenage years in Nebraska. But Amy was supposedly her bestie, and Penny did not want to start this...whatever it was with Sheldon based on a lie. So she decided to tell Amy the truth. Sheldon started to say something, but Penny put her hand on his arm and he stopped.

"Amy, Sheldon came to me looking for advice about intimacy, because he knows how much it means to you. He thought I could teach him some things to use with you. I mean, I know a lot about stuff like that, so that's why he asked me." Well, that was true...mostly.

This did not make Amy any happier. "Well, that's nice, but you couldn't come to me? Sheldon, I know I'm not as smart about these things as Penny, but I thought maybe, you know, we could learn together. Teach each other. Does that not interest you at all?"

Penny glanced at Sheldon, who was actually, for once in his life, speechless.

"Look, the two of you should talk. I'll give you some space," Penny said, hoping that Sheldon would find his voice and have this conversation with Amy. But that just wasn't his style, and Penny shouldn't have expected it to be.

"Penny. Come back." Amy said, and Penny could hear the urgency in her friend's voice. Well, this was going to be a long night.

The three of them reluctantly walked into Sheldon's apartment. He sat in his spot. Penny sat in the chair across from him. Amy stood up and paced. "Sheldon? I want you to tell me what exactly is going on. And I want to know right now. I deserve that much; I've been very patient and understanding over the years. You know how I feel about you. And right now, I would like to know how you feel about me."

Penny knew this was so very hard for Sheldon. She wanted to protect him and take him away from this awkward moment, but he had to fight his own battles. And, well, she also wanted to know what he would say.

Sheldon took a deep breath, and then exhaled. "Amy, Penny is right. I sought her advice regarding an intimate relationship. I wanted to know what that would entail. We talked about kissing, and she gave me a demonstration so I could form a hypothesis. During this...demonstration, I came to the conclusion that I still do not want to be in an intimate relationship with you at this time. I do apologize, Amy. As I've told you before, I do consider us to already be quite intimate, but I understand that the lack of touching is a problem. I care for you much more than I ever thought possible. I've learned so much from our relationship. But I do not want more intimacy. I'm sorry."

Amy didn't say anything. She didn't look completely devastated, like Penny would have if someone she loved told her something like that. She didn't look surprised or mad or sad, she didn't look like anything, really. She just nodded.

"I see. Thank you for your honesty, Sheldon. I must admit, I'm quite disappointed in this development. Even after all the evidence to the contrary, I thought we were going to end up together." Awkward silence. "Now tell me, when Penny was giving you this 'demonstration,' did you like it?" Amy asked, and now Penny was paying extra attention. Even though she should have expected the question, she was still not ready for anyone to answer it.

"It was not entirely unpleasant," Sheldon said, and Penny tried her hardest not to smile. This was a terrible moment for Amy and Penny really did feel bad for her friend, but Sheldon admitting that the kiss wasn't completely repulsive was kind of a big deal. "However, it did give me the evidence I needed to know that I'm not ready to make it a part of my routine. I don't know, Amy, I may never be. Work, science, art, friendship; those are the things that are important to me. I hope that you find someone who can give you everything you want, but I'm afraid it's not me."

Amy sighed. "I see. For the record, Penny, I wish you would have asked me before performing this 'demonstration.' But I suppose it doesn't matter in the long run. The answer always would have been the same."

"Amy, come on, nobody wanted to hurt you or do anything behind your back-"

"Please, Penny. I know what I've seen the past couple of months between the two of you, I'm not blind," Amy said, and Penny felt terrible. "I...guess I wish the best for you both, and that you're able to find in each other what you never found in me, Sheldon. I have to go now, though."

Amy got up and headed to the door. Penny followed her and grabbed her hand. "Amy, come on, don't go yet."

Amy smiled sadly. "I have to. I can't be friends with you and just pretend like this didn't happen. I've been pretending for months that the two of you haven't had something going on right under my nose."

Penny was having a hard time with this. She certainly felt terrible that Amy was so hurt, but she and Sheldon had, in fact, been on a break. And in a way, Penny really had been trying to help. But her feelings for Sheldon and her overwhelming need to kiss him was too intense to ignore.

"Amy, we never did anything 'under your nose,' okay? This wasn't—"

"It doesn't matter what you have or haven't done," Amy said, trying not to look completely miserable. "It's been right there under the surface for a while now, and I was just collateral damage. Good luck, really, I wish you the best. But I won't be the measuring stick for your feelings about each other. Now you'll have to figure that out on your own. Please don't call me. I don't want to talk to you. Either of you."

And then she was gone.

*****

Something happens when Sheldon and Penny are making out. Usually it's on her couch, just in case Leonard comes home early or something and sees his best friend and roommate making out with his ex-girlfriend and love of his life. Most of the time there's something on TV; they probably had at least a 10 minute argument beforehand about what to watch. But when they were kissing, Sheldon forgot about...everything. He forgot that the two of them had essentially broken Amy's heart mere days ago. He forgot about all the projects he was in the middle of at work. He forgot about how they were going to explain this to Leonard. And most of all, he forgot that he was not a lustful man. That he was not the kind of person to lose his mind over a girl. That he'd lived for over 30 years without knowing what the touch of a woman felt like, and now it was all he ever thought about. Sheldon had a tendency to forget all of those things...especially when Penny did that thing with her tongue.

Before Leonard left for the summer, Sheldon never would have imagined a scenario like this was possible. He was happy with Amy, and although he always found Penny attractive and considered her one of his most important friends, he didn't think of her as a potential romantic partner. But after getting the chance to spend so much time with her; after so many hours of talking and eating and watching Doctor Who and finding comfort in each other, everything was different. He was usually so uncomfortable with the prospect of change, but when he was alone with Penny and she was smiling and her lips were a little swollen from all the kissing and she looked so happy just to be there, just to be with him, he lost his place. Penny was hypnotic. Her eyes were trouble, her mouth even more so. And Sheldon had no idea what to do with that.

They spent Christmas together since they didn't have anywhere else to be, which they both found somewhat liberating. In the morning, they watched the Doctor Who Christmas special and opened presents. For Sheldon, Penny got him a Brass Kero tin lantern with a red globe, which she found on a "gift for train lovers" website and hoped it was something Sheldon would like. He hoped the shriek he emitted upon opening the gift was enough to show that he did in fact love it.

This year, just for Penny, Sheldon was less strict on his gift giving guidelines. He consulted with his sister about what to get for Penny, and Missy was thrilled to help her clueless brother out. While Skyping from Texas with her new baby in her arms, they looked at jewelry together. Missy found a simple red heart on a silver chain, which Sheldon thought was perfect for Penny and her romantic inclinations.

Penny looked suitably shocked when she opened the gift. "Sheldon, I'm...speechless. It's beautiful. Absolutely stunning. What possessed you?"

"I called Missy to ask her what I should get for you. She asked me way too many personal questions about my intentions and I begrudgingly gave her all the information requested. So we both hope you like it. I was just going to get you some Doctor Who DVDs. We could have listened to the commentary together!"

Sheldon saw Penny's look of happiness evolve into what could only be described as disappointment. He hated to think that he'd let Penny down in some kind of way, but he didn't have a clue as to how.

"What is it? Did I do something wrong? Gift giving is not an area in which I excel, I'm afraid."

Penny put her warm hand on his arm and smiled. "Oh, honey, of course you didn't do anything wrong. I guess I thought you picked this necklace out by yourself without help from anyone. But Missy was right, I love it. Thank you." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. Sheldon surprised both of them and went for her lips, and they had a nice, long, fascinating make-out session. He knew Penny was trying not to make their burgeoning coupling all about the intimacy, but sometimes he actually craved it. He craved her. And that was both terrifying and amazing.

Later, they cooked dinner together. Sheldon missed his family during the holidays, but he had to admit that spending time with Penny in the kitchen was weirdly satisfying and enjoyable. They sat at her little table to eat their feast of ham, mashed potatoes, cornbread, green beans, and other assorted dishes they both brought from their respective Christmas dinner upbringings and chatted about any and everything.

During dessert (which was not one, but two cheesecakes), Sheldon looked at Penny through the candlelight and was taken aback as to how different he was seeing her now. He knew that she had intense feelings for him as well and this gave him a weird kind of satisfaction. Obviously Amy was always talking about how much she cared for him, but the way Penny showed her attraction was just so different. It made him feel so strong and capable, which was somewhat of an unusual feeling for Sheldon. He could get used to this. And so, he started the conversation he knew Penny wanted to have, but didn't want to freak him out. She deserved as much.

After a lengthy conversation regarding the nature of Captain Janeway and Seven of Nine's relationship, Sheldon took a swig of chocolate milk and cleared his throat. "I was thinking, perhaps we should discuss the parameters of our newly minted coupling."

Well, it appeared this was the second time he shocked Penny on this evening. She looked up at him with surprise and what resembled happiness on her lovely face. "Really? You don't have to, Sheldon. I know it's scary. Maybe we can just play it by ear for a few weeks."

"Well, let me ask you ask you this-would you like to pursue a relationship at this time? Or would you like to engage in what you and Leonard tried before, a 'beta test,' I believe it was?" Sheldon really hoped she would not want such things, because he thought it sounded kind of ridiculous. But if it was what Penny wanted...

Penny exhaled. "God, no. If we do this, I want to do it all the way."

"Well, I find myself feeling that way, as well. But I'm curious, Penny...you seemed to have a problem committing to Leonard, at least at first. What makes you think this is what you want now? I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with, you know."

"Oh, Sheldon, that is so sweet," she said, smiling in the most adorable way possible. "But it's different now. I'm at a certain age where I feel like commitment isn't as scary as it used to be. And with Leonard, it was like...something was always missing. And while I know that you and I are going to have a tough road ahead of us, I want that. I want to figure it out together. I believe in us."

"Fair enough," Sheldon said.

Penny laughed. "Have you really been thinking about this stuff lately?"

"Of course," he said. "I even went so far as to draft a new relationship agreement-"

"Sheldon, there is no way in hell I would ever sign a relationship agreement, and I really hope you know that," Penny said, going from delighted to annoyed in under three seconds. "I'm kind of offended that you would even think I would agree to something that ridiculous."

"If you will let me finish...I even went so far as to draft a new relationship agreement before realizing that you are way too stubborn for such a technicality. However, I do want to go over some rules-ahem, I mean, some ideas for our courtship together, if you would be so kind as to listen to them."

Penny sighed. "Okay, lay 'em on me."

Sheldon nodded. "First of all, for every minute of terrible television shows you make me watch with you, you will be amenable to watching something educational with me, such as a PBS special on the migratory patterns of ants in Mexico. You will see that I am always on a mission to learn new things, and I think you'll find it to be rather fascinating, as well. I've observed you watching shows that you don't immediately love but ultimately you find something redeeming about them."

"Okay...okay, fine. Fair enough. What else?" Sheldon figured Penny probably had her own list of "rules," but he was glad that she was open to listening to his requests, at least in theory.

"Well, since we have been celebrating Anything Can Happen Thursday for a few years now and I have to admit that nothing too traumatic has happened because of it, I am open to the possibility of another day of the week in which I don't have such a strict schedule to follow. You may pick our evening meal, however, I do ask that you take me to train store on that day."

Penny was looking at him funny now. "Sheldon, that's...nice. I like that you're really trying to make this work. But does it always have to be this way? Do I have to keep a calendar of which day you wear your Spongebob pajamas so I never get it wrong?"

"Don't be ridiculous, you know I wear them on Sundays," Sheldon said, and Penny sighed.

"Fine, we'll talk about that later," Penny said, although Sheldon didn't know what there was to talk about. "Anything else?"

Sheldon was suddenly nervous for some reason. "Yes, actually. While I do enjoy the new intimacy we have been sharing, I am not sure how soon or how often I would like to engage in it as such. Kissing you is pleasurable and I won't deny that I am intrigued by what could happen next. However, the thought of...taking it further is a little more than I can comprehend right now."

"Oh, sweetie, of course," Penny said. "I would never in a million years pressure you for anything like that. I am, and have been for a long time, so attracted you, and intimacy has always been an important to me. But I know you need time, and while that could get maybe a bit frustrating or hard, I already know that it'll be worth it. I've had my share of relationships based on the physical stuff, and now I'm ready to try a new approach."

"Well...good," Sheldon said, both relieved and nervous. "What about your requests? You must have a few."

"Oh, believe me, I do," Penny said mysteriously. "But we'll get to them one at a time. I'm in no hurry. So tell me, sweetie...what do you think? Do you want to give this thing a try?"

Sheldon considered this for the millionth (actually more like the 41st, but who was counting?) time in the past couple of weeks and ultimately came to the same decision as usual. Penny made him happy. She was always there for him. And kissing her was like coming to a home he had never known he wanted but all of a sudden couldn't imagine living without. He knew it was going to be a challenge, but Sheldon was ready to take it on, if it meant he could see that look in Penny's eyes right before they kissed for a long, long time.

"I think I want to try," Sheldon said. Penny smiled, and he was happy he could make her happy. And later, after they'd done the dishes together and had a small argument about how to load the dishwasher, before Sheldon left, Penny gave him a kiss that nearly took his breath away, both metaphorically and physically. It was the kind of kiss that makes a man wonder what he'd been missing his whole life. And as Sheldon got ready for bed, he couldn't help but imagine the other things Penny could teach him.

*****

A week later, Howard and Bernadette held the New Year's Eve festivities at their house. It was mutually agreed upon by Penny and Sheldon that they'd keep their new status to themselves, until they could sit Leonard down and explain the situation. Which they would do, obviously. Very soon. Or soon-ish. At some point in their lives, anyway. It was just, both of them knew he wouldn't take it well, and after the way Amy reacted, they were a bit hesitant, to say the least.

Leonard, back from New Jersey, drove Sheldon and Penny to the party, which was, well, somewhat awkward. After he gave them a full report of what terrible things his mother did and said, and how much he won playing Blackjack in Atlantic City ($450, any more than that and he would have felt guilty for the card-counting), Leonard said, "So what did you guys do when I was gone?"

Actually, Sheldon and Penny had spent almost the entire week together, when they weren't working. They enjoyed a season one and two Netflix marathon of The X-Files (Sheldon's idea), they took long walks together (obviously Penny's idea, but Sheldon agreed that better fitness wasn't a bad idea), cooked together, went on a journey to the grocery store, and talked about adopting a puppy someday while arguing about what to name it. They were having fun together, and someday, everyone else would know about it, too.

Sheldon was a terrible liar and Penny was trying to do better, she really was, so she said, "Oh, um, we hung out a bit, went to work, watched some TV. The usual."

"Cool," Leonard said. "Sorry I keep leaving you guys to fend for yourselves." See, that's the kind of thing Penny never liked about Leonard. He always just assumed that his friends couldn't figure out what to do without him. That Penny and Sheldon (or anyone else, for that matter) didn't have their own friendship when he didn't exist in it. He was arrogant while also having some of the worst self-esteem Penny had ever experienced. It was so frustrating, and it never seemed to get easier.

"It wasn't a big deal, Leonard," Penny said. "We get along just fine when you're not around. We've been friends for like six years now, so I think we've figured it out."

"Well, of course," Leonard said, sounding both self-righteous and hurt. "I just meant…never mind. I'm glad you guys are friends. That's important to me."

Penny didn't add anything else to the conversation. He was just such a butt sometimes. In the front seat, Sheldon and Leonard had a long conversation/argument about the merits of the second season of Arrow and how it measured up to the comic book.

At Howard and Bernadette's, Raj and Stuart had already arrived. Bernadette and Penny drank some wine in the kitchen while the boys caught up on their Christmas festivities. Later, they all played Cards Against Humanity and ate pizza and watched the Times Square celebration on mute. Penny was enjoying herself and perhaps drinking a tad too much. It was New Year's, it didn't count!

"So, Sheldon, where's Amy tonight?" Raj eventually asked. Penny suppressed a groan. She knew that was the inevitable question of the night, and she was curious how Sheldon would answer.

Sheldon took a sip of milk and considered the question. "Amy and I have decided to terminate our relationship. It wasn't an easy decision, but I suppose it was inevitable. However, I do not know why she didn't come this evening. I thought she was looking forward to the party."

Penny was absolutely positive Amy didn't show up because she didn't want to see Penny and Sheldon together, but she didn't share that with the group.

Everyone looked surprised. Bernadette said, "Oh, no! I guess that's why she hasn't been returning my phone calls lately! Poor girl."

Raj said, "Oh, bummer. Maybe now she can go out with the poor bastard that's been hitting on her in the lab."

Stuart said, "Really? Does that mean she's single? I think I still have her number somewhere."

Leonard actually looked a bit unnerved. "Wow, that's a pretty big deal...why didn't you tell me?"

"It hasn't come up yet," Sheldon said.

"Still, Sheldon. You guys were together a long time. I'm so sorry, man," Leonard said. Penny was sure Leonard wanted to hug his friend, but knew that would make him even more uncomfortable.

Penny got up to get more wine from the kitchen. Leonard followed her. "Did you know they broke up? You don't seem surprised."

"Leonard, she's my best friend and he's my neighbor. Of course I knew."

"Well, a head's up would have been nice," Leonard said, and Penny shrugged. What did she need to do, put out a newsletter?

At 11:55, Penny ushered Sheldon outside. Sheldon had agreed that they should ring in the new year with a kiss, after Penny tried her best to explain why it was important to her.

"Happy new year," Penny said when they got outside. "I'm so glad you're here with me, and that we're together. I think we're going to have an amazing year." She knew it was kind of on the sappy side, but Sheldon brought that out of her these days. After so long of denying her feelings and attraction to him, it was such a relief to say what she wanted to say and feel what she wanted to feel.

"Yes, it will be a very interesting year indeed," Sheldon said. Penny knew he felt the same as she did, but still had a hard time expressing himself about these things. Maybe someday that would change, but this was okay, too. For now.

And then they kissed. It was a nice, promising kiss. Penny wished she could take it further-she could recall a number of interesting New Year's Eve parties and the boys she ended up with and what they did together-but again, this was her reality now. And anyway, their kiss was about to have a rude awakening.

They never saw the door open, they only heard Leonard's voice as the kiss came to an abrupt halt.

"I knew it," Leonard said, and laughed. It was obviously not a nice laugh, or a happy laugh. It was a bitter laugh. "I knew there was something going on with you two. Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Eventually," Penny said, not in the mood to deal with Leonard's hysterics. But instead of yelling, which Penny almost preferred, Leonard just kind of...frowned.

"Did it ever occur to you to just, I don't know, be a friend and tell me what was going on? For months, Amy and I have seen the way you look at each other. We used to talk about it; about how you two were slipping away from us. But instead you just lie and lie and sweep it under the rug and pretend I'm the one who's crazy." He shook his head, and Penny wasn't sure what to do. She felt crappy and annoyed and terrible all at once. Sheldon was just looking at the ground. This was not how she wanted the night to go.

"Leonard, please. We didn't do this to hurt you." This was starting to sound familiar. "I never cheated on you. I ended it because I didn't see a future for us. So I understand that you're upset, and I'm sorry." She didn't know what else to say.

Maybe eventually things would get back to normal. Maybe Leonard would realize that this was never about him. But at the moment, it was too raw. It hurt too much. Penny prepared herself for an entire monologue from Leonard about how the two of them betrayed him, or something like that. Instead, he shrugged. "You were the love of my life," Leonard said to Penny. "And you were my best friend," he said to Sheldon. _"Were._ Get another ride home, I'm busy."

To his credit, Leonard didn't make a scene once they all made it back inside. He just pulled Raj aside and the two of them had a whisper conference. Afterwards, Raj stared at Penny like he was just meeting her for the first time. Again, she just shrugged.

Stuart drove Sheldon and Penny home, since apparently Leonard was going to stay with Raj for a while. Stuart didn't even try to talk on the ride back, which Penny appreciated.

Sheldon and Penny walked up the three flights of stairs silently. When Sheldon went to his door, Penny grabbed his hand and said, "Hey, we knew this was going to happen. It's going to be okay. Leonard will come around soon. He just has to get used to the idea."

Sheldon nodded. Penny knew he was freaking out. He wasn't used to any of this. And now he was going to have to be alone in his apartment, thinking about how he betrayed Leonard and probably Amy, too. This was not good. Even though hurting Leonard sucked, Penny knew it was inevitable. She would be okay. Sheldon might not be.

"Hey...do you want to stay with me tonight? No funny business, I promise. I'll sleep on the sofa." Penny said. Sheldon nodded, not even bothering to talk. He followed her inside. She fixed him some tea, and they sat together, her head on his shoulder, holding hands. Sheldon eventually said, "I didn't know it would feel like this." Penny didn't ask what he meant. Instead she just held his hand tighter. And when they couldn't keep their eyes open anymore, Penny went to the bathroom to brush her teeth while Sheldon got ready for bed. And just as she was preparing the couch for a long and probably restless night, Sheldon said softly from the bedroom, "Will you stay with me?" And that was how Penny spent the beginning of 2014-wrapped up in Sheldon's arms in her bed, both completely heartbroken and devastatingly happy.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. Hi.
> 
> I really had no intention of taking an entire year to finish this story, and I apologize so very much. But you know the drill...life happens, and the show itself isn't exactly inspiring me lately, either. But here it is, and there will be one more (last) chapter coming along in the next day or two. Thank you for your patience and dedication, and I hope I won't let you guys down again. Feedback is always appreciated, and rock on.

And so, Penny and Sheldon did something neither of them ever thought was possible-they started dating. On nights when he didn't have such a rigid schedule, she would cook for him (at her place, since "giving Leonard some space" was still the name of the game). And not just hot dogs and spaghetti, either. They'd sit at the table and listen to her music and they'd talk about their day, even if none of those things exactly came natural to either of them. They'd go to movies, they'd do laundry on Saturday nights, they'd go to the train store and shoe shopping. And they kissed. A lot.

No one could have guessed from the beginning, but he and Penny actually worked well together. They were always learning from each other; one had strengths the other didn't possess, and together, they could take on anything. It wasn't easy; neither of them would ever claim it was easy. Penny craved intimacy, and Sheldon craved intellectual discussions, neither of which the other could provide on the level their partner secretly wanted. But over the last couple of months, they were figuring it out. And at some point-he didn't know when, exactly-Sheldon had decided to just let it happen. To stop resisting his overwhelming feelings for Penny, these new sensations that he still didn't quite understand. As a result, Penny let down most of her walls and let herself be vulnerable, as well. Maybe, just maybe, this was going to work.

Now it was Fourth of July, seven months since they began this experiment of theirs. Sheldon had a long-running policy of not participating in Independence Day activities. He did not care for fireworks, nor did he enjoy big groups of people craning their necks to look at the sky. What was the point? How ridiculous. However, Penny loved the occasion, and he wanted to make her happy. As Sheldon had been learning for quite a while now, relationships were based on compromise. And besides, Penny was well aware of his distaste for such activities, but she came up with something they'd both like-they were enjoying the fireworks aboard the Queen Mary. It definitely wasn't a train, but ships were certainly up there on Sheldon's list of favorite transportation.

As the fireworks exploded in brilliant colors above their heads, Sheldon and Penny stood by the railing with the hundreds of people who had the same idea, and they participated in Sheldon's new favorite activity-making out. Before Penny came along and showed him the error of his ways, he had no idea that kissing someone could be this enjoyable. But then again, he knew somewhere in that scientific brain of his that it wasn't just someone he was kissing, it was Penny. Beautiful, smart, wise, Penny. His Penny.

Mid make-out and fireworks session, Sheldon wondered what would happen once they got back home. They'd probably go back to her apartment-Leonard was finally, finally getting used to the idea of Sheldon and Penny together, but he would probably not appreciate them making out in front of him-and things would, as usual, get a little too heated. Penny respected Sheldon's wish to take it slow and would only go as far as he was comfortable, which, in almost seven months, probably wasn't as far as she would have liked. Of course he wanted to experience every part of her, but he wanted to savor the moment, too. He wanted something to look forward to. So kissing and heavy petting on her couch was about as much as he could handle at the moment.

Sheldon put his arm around Penny and she leaned into him. He kissed her forehead. The fireworks were getting a bit more intense and Sheldon knew the finale was approaching.

While Penny was smiling up at the sky, enjoying the scenery, Sheldon said, "I was thinking, perhaps for Halloween you could be the Black Widow. You sort of resemble Scarlett Johansson. And I could be, I don't know, Hawkeye or something. I think I could be good with an arrow...doesn't seem difficult."

Penny chuckled. "Oh, you think you can pull off Hawkeye? Well, that makes sense if you think I look like Scarlett." She smiled. "That's sweet that you're thinking that far ahead for us." She kissed him and it was a long, lingering kiss that for some reason left too much unsaid. That happened sometimes, when she kissed him and it went so deep into his soul that he almost dreaded when the kiss came to its inevitable stopping point. There was always the worry that something wasn't quite right about their relationship. That someday, somehow, what goes around always seems to come back around. Sheldon was obviously not the kind of person who believed in karma, but he couldn't seem to shake off the feeling of dread. And, as it turned out, for good reason.

"Well, of course. It's only three months away, we have to plan for these things," Sheldon said matter of factly. Penny giggled, but then turned to face him. She had a strange look, one that Sheldon had seen before but never directed towards him...only Leonard. Uh-oh. There was that feeling of dread again.

"Sheldon...there's something I need to tell you. I was waiting for the right time, and this seems like it's as good as any," Penny said, looking nervous and sad.

Sheldon exhaled. "Well...go ahead, tell me." He had no idea what she was going to say. What could it possibly be?

"I'm not going to be here for Halloween. I'm moving back to Nebraska in September. I'm...I'm sorry." She really did look to be on the brink of tears. His first instinct was to comfort her because she looked so sad. But then what she said resonated in his heart, and it hit him like a truck.

As the fireworks culminated in an illuminating finale above their heads, Sheldon Cooper finally understood what it felt like to get his heart broken.

*****

Penny was never the kind of girl who needed to be in love to feel whole. She always had a rather cynical view about romance, which was probably why her relationship with Leonard never quite worked. Sure, she enjoyed being in a relationship and loved being physically intimate. But the main priority of her life was focusing on her career, which had never exactly gone the way she planned. So over the past couple of months, Penny was going through a silent downward spiral. Sheldon was...he was wonderful. They had so much fun together, well, most of the time. He made her happy. Their unlikely relationship was fulfilling, she would never say it wasn't. But Penny knew that she couldn't keep relying on the men in her life to fulfill her completely. Radiating through her was an ache that went from head to toe. She was going to have to make a change, and it was probably going to really suck.

Her lack of a career wasn't Penny's only problem, either. Oh, no. Not even close. Picture this: you come home from a fun evening out with your boyfriend. He's wearing that shirt you like, and he smells so good. You've been dating for a while now, and he's the best kisser you've ever known. He escorts you to your door, and you kind of fall into each other for a few minutes while an epic kiss occurs. He is running his fingers through your hair, you're holding on to him as tight as possible, feeling the muscles in his back, desperately wanting to know what they feel like under his shirt. And then...he manages to tear himself from your grasp, say goodnight, and then walk away. Into his own apartment, where maybe later he will text you before he goes to sleep. And you sigh, unlock your door, throw yourself on the bed and wonder how you came to find yourself in a relationship with someone who doesn't value sexual chemistry nearly as much as you do. Someone who had never gotten past second base-with anyone. It was taking a toll on Penny, and there was nothing she could do about it. Of course she knew going in that Sheldon wasn't going to take her home and ravage her until the sun came up, but...it was getting so much harder than she ever anticipated.

So here she was. A few months away from giving up and going back to her childhood home. Obviously Penny should have told Sheldon sooner. She should have talked to him about it, she should have run the idea by him first, she should have done everything differently. But this is who Penny is...she runs. When things get especially bad or especially good, she runs. It's just, sometimes she'd be out with Sheldon somewhere and the sunlight highlights his hair and his eyes and he looks so...innocent. Like if they were together much longer, she'd corrupt him. Most of her knew that was absolutely ridiculous, but she understood the truth. She was going to hurt Sheldon even more if they stayed together, whether he knew it or not.

Penny came to this realization a month earlier. She was having dinner with Bernadette at their favorite hole in the wall pizza place. They were sharing a large pepperoni and chatting about the usual subjects.

"This is so good," Bernadette said, inhaling a piece of pizza. "I only eat like this with you. You're a bad influence on me!"

"Yeah, well, I've been working out extra hard lately," Penny said. "So I don't know about you, but I feel like I deserve it."

"Good point," Bernadette said.

In between bites, Penny said, "So...have you talked to Amy lately?" Amy was a touchy subject these days, but Penny was curious. She still felt terrible about how it all went down, and would send Amy a text at least once a week to see if she would answer. Of course, Amy never did. The only way Penny knew Amy was alive was by her sporadic tweets, which were always about the project she was working on or what she had for breakfast.

Bernadette nodded and Penny waited for her to finish chewing. "I talked to her last week. She's in Prague now, if you can believe it. She's doing some research there. She sounded happy."

Penny didn't ask if Amy mentioned her or not. If she did, it wouldn't have been in a nice way. But really, what could Penny do? She apologized a million times. Begged for forgiveness. Felt like crap about it for months. But it wasn't enough, and Penny didn't blame her. Sheldon was the love of Amy's life, and now she'd have to start all over again.

"Well, that's nice. She deserves to be happy," Penny said thoughtfully.

"Yep. So how's the job search going?" Bernadette asked, probably to change the subject. Penny knew Bernie hated being stuck in the middle of her problems with Amy.

"Well, yesterday I auditioned for "Girl Number three" for a party scene on Two and a Half Men. I didn't get it. I feel really good about that, if you were wondering."

Penny's career, once again, was at a crossroads. No, not a crossroads-a standstill. Starlight City had been cancelled months ago. Not that it was a surprise to anyone. And not that William stopped contacting her...he emailed her every other day, it seemed like, just to say he saw a car that looked like hers and it made him think of Penny, or something stupid like that. Even after the 39 times Penny said she was in a relationship and she wasn't interested in him whatsoever. Whatever. He was harmless. Annoying, but she'd encountered so much worse in her life.

"Yuck," Bernadette said. "So what are you going to do next? Do you have a plan?"

Penny shook her head. "Not really. I have to come up with something, though. Even if I never make it as an actress, waitress at the Cheesecake Factory is not my dream job. I liked taking those classes at the community college, I might do that again."

Bernadette looked thoughtful. "Maybe what you need is a big change. Shake things up. Train to be a ballet dancer or a professional scuba diver. I don't know, something."

"What do you mean?" Penny asked. "I'd suck at ballet dancing, I can barely walk in a straight line."

"I just mean, maybe you weren't meant to be an actress, Penny. I know it's your dream, but I've seen how hard you've struggled over the years and I wonder if it's really worth it. Maybe it was just a stepping stone to your real career. Maybe you just need to take some time to figure out what your next move should be. You deserve more, that's all I'm saying."

Penny knew Bernadette was right. And right there in the middle of her favorite pizza place, Penny decided what she needed to do. It wasn't going to be easy, but maybe it would be worth it.

*****

Meanwhile, on the way home from the Queen Mary, Sheldon was way too chatty. He babbled on and on about the fireworks and facts about the Queen Mary and basically everything except the matter at hand. Penny drove and listened and wondered if he actually did process what she just told him and he had no idea how to react. Or maybe, just maybe, he didn't care as much as she did. Penny assumed they were on the same page; they weren't heaping "I love yous" on each other at every moment of the day but they did say it when it mattered. So why was he reacting this way? It was driving her crazy.

When they finally arrived back at the apartment, Penny turned off the car and grabbed Sheldon's arm before he could get out.

"Hey, um, you never said anything about me leaving. Can we talk about it?" She asked nervously.

"Well, of course. You're going to Nebraska because you feel like you have exhausted all your other options here." Sheldon did not look particularly bothered by this.

"Well...yeah," Penny said, wondering what exactly was going on here. "That is what I'm doing, but-"

"And I suppose that means our relationship is effectively over. It had to end eventually, right?"

Even though Penny's intention was in fact to break up with Sheldon, she didn't like this conclusion he came to.

"Well, not exactly! I mean, we could do the long distance thing, or, I don't know, maybe you could come with me, or you could ask me to stay, or something..." Penny instantly regretted everything she just said. She was not the kind of girl who begs for a man for anything. But with Sheldon, he brought out a weird kind of desperation in her. That was another reason why she just had to get away.

"Oh, Penny, I couldn't possibly go with you to Nebraska, it just wouldn't be practical at all," Sheldon said. "And you shouldn't stay here because there's nothing left for you to do if you're not going to be an actress. I suppose you could teach acting if you were so inclined."

"I'm not going to stop being an actress," Penny said indignantly. "I just need a break. And my family needs me."

"Well, then you have to go," Sheldon said, and then got his phone out to look up the name of a subatomic particle or something. He was so infuriating sometimes! How could he so easily not care about his girlfriend leaving? Penny knew, knew she was the one who made the decision to leave and she had no right to be angry with Sheldon's reaction. That did not, however, stop her irrational anger.

How had she imagined this conversation would end, how this night would go? Maybe she expected him to be, well, kind of sad? Maybe mad that she hadn't discussed it with him? She kind of wanted to go back to her place and cuddle and talk about it, at least. In all the time she spent thinking about what would happen, she never expected him to just...do nothing. To not have any kind of reaction at all. And it suddenly made her doubt the entire relationship.

Penny drove in silence for a few minutes, occasionally seeing stray fireworks from above. She knew that in the future, whenever she saw fireworks, she'd think of this night. And not in fondness.

When she couldn't stand it any longer, she said, "Aren't you going to be, like, I don't know, sad?"

"Sad about what?" Sheldon asked, looking genuinely confused.

"Sad about us, Sheldon. Sad that we aren't going to be together anymore. Sad that we don't get to see each other every day anymore. You know...sad!"

"Oh, well, I did have to adjust my life quite a bit to fit you into it, so yes, I will be sad that I have to change it again. My routine will get all messed up!"

Ugh, this was brutal. Rather than continue to pry, Penny said, "Oh. Well...sorry about that."

Sheldon nodded. And that was it. Nothing more to say.

When they got home, Sheldon didn't kiss her. He said, "Good night, Penny," and disappeared inside his apartment. Penny stared at his door, heartbroken and sad. He didn't even care. She was head over heels in love with him, and he didn't even care. This was not the way she wanted things to end. But as she was learning, most of the time, things never go the way she planned.

****

Penny's going away party was a small affair. There was the usual-Howard, Bernie, Sheldon, Raj, Leonard, Stuart-and some friends from work. Noticeably absent was Amy. She was invited, but Sheldon didn't blame her for not coming. Why would she? If he could get away with it, he wouldn't be at this "party," either.

It had been a long two months since the Fourth. Although he still saw Penny frequently, even he could tell their interactions were tense and kind of awkward. He still felt the same way about her as always, but when she made her decision to leave, what could he do about it? Sheldon figured all relationships end up like this. People fall in love, and then they disappear. See, this is what happens when you let your guard down. Sheldon knew the whole thing was a mistake from the beginning. It just didn't feel like a mistake in the beginning, when he felt like kissing Penny was the thing he'd been missing from his life this whole time.

Penny laughed with all her guests and drank copious amounts of wine. Ever since they broke up, Sheldon noticed she basically picked right back up with the drinking. He also noticed the way she looked at him now. When they were together, she looked at him like he could do no wrong. Like he had all the answers to every one of her questions. It made him feel so powerful. But now, she looked at him with venom in her eyes. Or even worse, she looked at him like he was a stranger. Like they never shared something important. Like he didn't risk everything that was important to him just to be in a relationship with her.

Near midnight, when Sheldon was well past the point of cranky and just wanted everyone out of his apartment, Leonard tapped on his wine glass to get everyone's attention.

"I just wanted to say, Penny, there are no words for how much we're going to miss you," Leonard said-well, slurred. "Yes, we've had our differences, but the last seven years I've spent getting to know you has made me a better person. We love you. I-please-Penny, don't go! We can-" Before Leonard made himself look even worse, Raj took his hand and led him to the bathroom, where Sheldon assumed Leonard emptied the contents of his stomach.

Now the attention was on Penny again. She smiled and cleared her throat. "Um, well, that was interesting. Anyway, thanks for coming tonight, guys. I love all of you. Some more than others, obviously, but I love every single one of you. I'll come visit, but you guys need to visit me, too! I swear Nebraska isn't the most boring place on earth. But again, thank you for allowing me to come into your lives. I learned so much while I was here. I had fun, I ate a lot of Thai food, I went on a lot of auditions...and I fell in love, had my heart broken, and now I'm leaving. See you guys on the other side!" Everyone applauded and she took a small curtsy. She hugged everyone extra tight and then tried to shuffle her way back home. Sheldon opened the door for her. She didn't hug him.

"Thanks, Sheldon," she said. "Have a nice life." And then she was gone. Well, that was anticlimactic. He couldn't let it end that way, could he? After all they shared together, and he didn't even get a hug? It felt all wrong.

After everyone finally left, Sheldon brushed his teeth and got into bed. Usually he fell right to sleep, but he couldn't on this night for some reason. Of course it was obvious why, but it didn't come to him until he glanced at the clock and it was 3:00 AM. Sheldon sighed. What would someone else, someone who was actually adept at these kinds of situations, do in his shoes? He wasn't sure, but he had to do something.

So...

Knock knock knock. "Penny."

Knock knock knock. "Penny."

Knock knock knock. "Penny."

Penny answered the door looking tired and sad. He noticed that all her belongings were now in boxes, waiting for her brother and dad to come help her move. Sheldon wondered if maybe he should have helped her pack. Nah.

"What is it, Sheldon? I need to go to bed, there's a lot to do tomorrow."

Sheldon thought about what to say. This was the first time he'd been speechless in quite a while, but he was so nervous! What did she want from him, anyway?

Penny looked irritated. "Well, come on, spit it out!"

"Penny...why are you so angry with me?" Sheldon finally said.

Penny chuckled. "You really don't know?"

"Of course I don't. That's why I asked."

"Fine. Come in, but only for a second." Sheldon followed Penny inside and sat beside her on the couch, careful to not look at the empty bottle of wine on the table.

Penny fumbled with a small hole in the couch. Her expression told him that she wanted to be anywhere but in that room with him.

"I'm mad at you because you don't care. You've avoided me for months now. Tonight, you didn't say anything about me leaving, and you didn't even hug me. I thought...I thought we had something special together and I thought it was worth fighting for, but sometimes I feel like you thought of it as a scientific experiment, and once it was over, you moved on. And I hate feeling that way, Sheldon! I hate feeling so...discarded. I love you. You know? I love you, and the cold shoulder thing hurts."

Wow. Sheldon had no idea how to respond to that. Again, he wondered why he ever thought a romantic relationship would ever be what he wanted. But he took a look at Penny and her vulnerability and her eyes and her wisdom and her intelligence and her soft curves, and he knew why. But even with that knowledge, he was starting to get angry. How could she accuse him of treating her like an experiment? How could she have known him for all these years and not realized that he had no idea whatsoever how to deal with a situation as fragile as this one?

"First of all, if you thought it was worth fighting for, then why are you leaving? I'm sure I could help you figure out what to do next in your career if we really sat down to think about it," Sheldon said, getting angrier and more frustrated with every word he said. "As for our relationship, I know we had some challenges, but you never expressed disappointment or frustration towards me, so I don't really understand what you mean by that, either. Now, in regards to my demeanor towards you, you seem to think I don't care for you as much as you care for me. You were never my 'experiment.' I told you in the hospital that I loved you, too, but that wasn't enough. You continue to doubt me. So, if you're wondering, yes, I will miss you. I have missed you ever since we broke up. But this was your decision. I may not know much about these things, but I know you're putting your guilt about leaving me into my hands, and I do not appreciate it. I came here to make amends, but you know what? I do not wish to do so at this time. Good-bye, Penny. I wish you luck in Nebraska. I hope you find what you're looking for."

And Sheldon got up and walked out before he could look at Penny's face. If this was the price of falling in love, he never wanted to pay it.


	10. Chapter 10

Penny lived in Nebraska for an entire year before fate caught up with her.

And for a whole year, she missed Sheldon Cooper with every bone in her body. She hoped he would somehow surprise her and walk through the door with a bouquet of flowers or something. Of course, that wasn't his style and Penny knew that, she really did. He loved her and probably missed her in his own way, but he was not the kind of guy who did the grand gesture thing. Leonard was. Leonard probably would have sold his soul to keep her from leaving California in the first place. Sheldon was not Leonard.

At first, Nebraska wasn't so bad. It was nice to spend so much time with her sister and her niece and nephews, and she'd forgotten how much fun her brother could be when he wasn't actually strung out on something. Penny didn't even mind helping out around the farm, it was almost like second nature to her. Her mom and dad were so happy to have her home, and eating dinner together as a family was nice. But as the months went by and Penny slowly began to realize that this could be her life forever, it wasn't so great anymore. She had to come up with some kind of plan. One that didn't involve her high school boyfriend Johnny, whom she saw at the grocery store every week and who seemed very interested in catching up with her over a beer or two. Sure, she could settle down with him and pop out some babies and live the small town life most of her high school friends had settled for, but did she really want that? It was the easy choice, but not exactly the right one. However, it was time to face the fact that she was closing in on her thirties and all she could claim as marketable skills were a washed up acting career and waitressing for minimum wage. It was starting to occur to Penny that although she'd gotten far with her looks up to this point, she'd have to find something real to focus on if she was ever going to make something of herself.

So the day fate found her again, Penny was sitting at her desk in her old room, with all her cheerleading ribbons and pictures of her smiling teenaged self. It was a very chilly February, six months after she left California. She'd forgotten how cold a Nebraska winter could be, and she had her space heater on practically 24/7, just like she used to in high school. But on this day, she was doing something she never did as a teenager-studying. Her finals were in a few weeks, and she wanted to be prepared. The local community college might not have lived up to Cal Tech standards, but Penny was learning a lot in summer school. She was taking Creative Writing and Beginning Accounting. If she ever started making money again, she wanted to be a lot smarter about it.

There was a knock on her door, and as usual, her mother barged in without waiting for an answer. But Penny didn't mind. She missed her mother when she was in California. Even the blatant disregard for privacy.

"Hi, sweetie. Aww, you're doing your homework. What I would give to have seen you so hard at work 10 years ago."

Penny smiled sweetly. "Me, too. What's up, Mom?"

Pamela looked like she had forgotten all about what she was going to say, but then it came back to her. "Oh, yes, you have a visitor."

Penny sighed. "Is it Johnny again? Mom! We talked about this. For the love of god, tell him I'm busy." Johnny was not one to take a hint.

"Oh, no, it's not Johnny, sweetie. It's that boy you used to date back in California! He's so handsome. And pale! I'm kind of worried about how pale he is, actually. We'll have to get him to sit outside for a bit if he's here for a while."

Of course, Penny didn't hear her mom after hearing the word "awkward." Was it true? Had she underestimated Sheldon? Would he really come all this way just to see her? What could he possibly want?

Penny was on her feet in seconds and flew over to the living room. And...well, obviously it wasn't Sheldon sitting down on the ancient plaid love seat her parents bought before she was born. It was Leonard, in all his nerdy glory.

It wasn't that she was disappointed...well, okay, she was disappointed. But if nothing else, it was nice to see Leonard again. They had such an intense relationship for a long time; there was a long stretch of time in her life when she was absolutely sure they'd be torturing each other forever. And then when he didn't speak to her for months after the Sheldon thing, it broke her heart a little. She felt even worse that Sheldon lost his best friend because of her. But now here he was, sitting in the living room she grew up watching cartoons in, looking pale as ever.

"Leonard! Oh, my god! What are you doing here?" Penny exclaimed. She sat down on the love seat and hugged him. It was nice. Everything about him was the same. Good ol' reliable Leonard. She inspected him for signs of his motive for coming. He didn't seem to have that look about him that indicated he missed her and he wished things were different and he was there to proclaim his love for her. Thank goodness—there was no way she could deal with that again. So why was he really there?

"Well, I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd stop by," he said, and she giggled and playfully punched him in the shoulder.

"Come on. Nobody wants to come to Nebraska unless they absolutely have to," Penny said.

Leonard looked like he was on the verge of saying about a thousand different things. But she certainly did not expect to hear what he did manage to say.

"Okay, I'll just get to the point. I'm not here for me, although it is...great to see you. You look amazing. But, uh, anyway, it's Sheldon. He needs you back. As soon as possible."

That was the moment Penny's mom chose to walk in the living room with a plate of milk, cheese, and crackers. The chosen snack for guests ever since Penny could remember.

"Well, sorry to interrupt, but I thought you two might like some refreshments!" Pamela looked delighted to finally be meeting that nice young man Penny used to date.

Penny looked at Leonard and laughed. She couldn't help it.

"Thanks, Mom, but if Leonard ate this, he would blow up like a balloon and float to Mars. Leonard, do you want to go for a walk or something?" All she wanted to know in life was why Sheldon needed her. When she left California, he made the opposite quite obvious.

"Sure. Thanks, Penny's mom," Leonard said. He followed Penny outside, and they walked around the neighborhood in the cold Nebraska winter, not bothering to put their coats on.

They walked almost a block, absorbing the bustling sounds of the neighborhood and the crispness of the cold before Penny said, "Damn, Leonard, are you going to tell me what Sheldon wants or what?"

Leonard laughed. "I would never count patience as one of your virtues. Okay, well, here it is. First of all, if Sheldon knew I was here, he would probably murder me in my sleep. But he is driving all of us insane. More than usual, which is, as you know, a lot. He's thinking about giving up on string theory altogether, but he doesn't have a back-up plan, which is making him so frustrated he can barely even get out of bed. We're worried, Penny. We don't know what to do."

Penny sighed. She had been worried about something like that happening when she left, but what could she do? "Of course I'm heartbroken for the guy, but how could I possibly help? He's not like you and me, Leonard. I can't just go back to the apartment, give him a talking to and magically transform him."

"No, I don't think that's possible either," Leonard said. "But I have to tell you, Penny, even though you guys weren't together very long, there was something so different about him during that time. It was like...you were his missing piece. And it's not like he was making huge innovations at work or anything, but he was, I don't know, inspired. It was so fascinating to watch, and even though I hated and resented the thought of the two of you, even I have to admit that it was a good match."

Penny groaned. "That's not the point, Leonard! Yes, we had a good relationship. We taught each other something new every day. Our differences are what brought us together, blah blah blah. The point is, none of those things were enough. My life still sucked, my career still sucked, and he still wouldn't go past second base! So I don't understand how giving up my life here, my family here, and going back to Pasadena could possibly help anything." Now she was getting angry. What right did Leonard have to come marching back into her life, getting himself involved in a relationship he never really understood? Arghhh.

"Penny? I realize that you're mad at me right now, but can we please slow down? You're walking really fast and I need my inhaler," Leonard said, looking a little more than winded.

"Oh. Sorry. Come on, let's go get some coffee. Where it's warm." Penny borrowed Pamela's 1995 Altima, the car she learned how to drive on, and drove them to Starbucks.

"Now, this is the third place we've attempted to have this conversation, Leonard. Just say what you want from me and I'll think about it," Penny said, and took a sip of her Cinnamon Dolce Latte.

"I think you should come back," Leonard said. He continued quickly before Penny had a chance to reply. "I know that isn't a magical cure for whatever is wrong with Sheldon. And I know you have a life here. But I think you both are happier together. Even if you're just good friends."

Penny was bewildered by this huge request. "Do you understand what you're asking me to do, Leonard? I have no job in California. I don't have a place to live. It would be like I was starting over again, and I can't...I just can't do that. As much as I love Sheldon and want him to 'fix' him, I won't do it at the expense of my well-being."

Leonard nodded and took a sip of his black coffee. "Okay, hear me out. You won't be starting over. A few months ago, I...well, I sort of showed your Nebraska screenplay to Mandy."

Penny scoffed. "The girl you met on the boat? _Really?"_

"Yes, actually," Leonard said, looking slightly ashamed. "We've been seeing each other for a while now. Anyway, I showed it to her because her roommate works in publishing and she has Mandy on the lookout for new stuff. And guess what? She really, really liked it. In fact, she wants to talk to you. She's pretty sure the screenplay could be turned into a novel, and she's very interested in getting it sold. And if that takes off, you can probably find yourself with quite a satisfying and lucrative writing career."

Penny was truly speechless. He had done that for her? Leonard, the guy whose heart she broke in a thousand pieces? Wow. Just...wow. She wasn't even mad he figured out where the screenplay was and showed it someone without her knowledge.

"Leonard...I don't even know what to say. That's amazing. Why would you do that for me?"

"Because Sheldon needs you. He went through most of his life not having someone like you to guide him, and then when you left, he fell apart. I'm not saying it's your responsibility to help him-it's not, and I want to make that clear. But again, I know you as well as I know him, Penny. And I know that you don't really want to be here, in Nebraska, living with your parents. And I know you miss Sheldon, and I know he misses you, and I know it's asking a lot, but Penny...please come home. You can even stay with Raj until you get the money for your novel. He has a girlfriend and works a lot, so he's not home much. Come on...what do you say? If you tell me right now that you're truly happy here in Nebraska, then I'll leave on the next flight out of here."

Penny had no idea what to say or do. Not a single clue.

"Can you give me a while to think about it?" She asked. "The semester is over in 2 weeks and I want to finish my classes, at least. And then I'll let you know."

Leonard kind of smiled and frowned at the same time. She could tell he thought for some reason he was going to show up and magically whisk her away back to California with just a little convincing. "Sure. Of course. Whatever you decide, I appreciate you at least listening to what I have to say."

Penny hugged her old friend Leonard. He clung a little too long and a little too hard. Penny wondered about this Mandy back home, and how she'd feel about this situation. That was a question best left unanswered.

They drove back to the house and after some awkward good-byes, Penny watched Leonard reluctantly get in his car and go back to wherever he came from. Pamela joined her at the window.

"What was that all about?" Pamela asked, munching on a cracker.

"Oh, nothing," Penny said, and sighed.

"Don't give me 'nothing.' You're my daughter, honey, I know when you're upset. Are you sad he's leaving?"

"No, no, he's just a friend, Mom, you know that," Penny said. "He just wants me to come back to Pasadena to get Sheldon out of the funk he's in. Even if it's just as a friend. Leonard got me a job and everything. Sort of."

Pamela tried not to look too panicked that her daughter was thinking of leaving her again. "Well, what do you think? Are you going to do it?"

"I don't know. Sheldon and I parted on such bad terms and I haven't heard from him since. But I do miss him." Penny missed him so much sometimes, it physically hurt. Although leaving Pasadena probably was the best thing for her to do at the time, she should have handled it so much better. Sheldon had been right—she did try to make it his problem when in fact he had nothing to do with her decision. She had to figure out a way to make it up to him if she was going to come back.

_Was_ she coming back, though? During the next couple of weeks, she studied as much as she worried. Penny did not want this stress to cause her to fail the exams when she'd been working hard all semester. In between writing a short story for her creative writing class, she'd jot down the pros and cons of California. The weather was always nice. The job Leonard mentioned sounded amazing, and it was a new direction for her life that could only be positive. She and Bernadette could get back to their lunch dates. And, of course, Sheldon. Their relationship was a challenge; among other things, the lack of intimacy was, unfortunately, somewhat of a problem for Penny. For most of her life, Penny expressed her love in relationships with, well, sex. She was good at it, she liked it, and it made her feel amazing. Most of the men she'd dated over the years enjoyed and appreciated her sensuality. With Sheldon, Penny had to find other ways to show how much she cared about him, because sex was not and would not be a factor. At least until they got married, which they were nowhere near being ready for, obviously. This was so much harder than she anticipated, and if they got back together, she'd have to search for a different way to express herself.  
But ultimately, as much as Penny wanted to make a decision, it felt all wrong. Leonard's heart had been in the right place when he asked her to come "home," but what about Sheldon's?

During a breakfast of peanut butter waffles and orange juice, Penny was deep in thought. Her whole family was at the kitchen table, loud and obnoxious and everything Penny loved about being in Nebraska. She would miss them if she left, but they all had their own lives. They would be fine.

The only person who noticed her contemplativeness was Pamela, of course. While Penny helped her mom with the dishes, Pamela said, "Tell me, baby, I can't stand the anticipation—are you going back to California or what?

Penny sighed. "I still don't know! It's tempting. I just wish I knew how Sheldon felt about it. I don't want to go back and interrupt his entire thought process just because Leonard thought it was a good idea."

"Well, why didn't it work between you two?" Pamela asked. "I know it's hard, Penny, but it'll help to talk about it."

"Well, he was really caught up in his work, for one thing," Penny said. "I respect and admire his work ethic and I would never get in the way of that, but he has a one track mind. When he gets stuck on something, it's literally all he can think about, and nothing I could say or do would get his mind off of it. Also, sometimes, if I gently reminded him, he'd try to be romantic. But it was really hard for him to come up with it on his own. He didn't really like to hold hands or kiss in public. Not that I blame him exactly, but a little PDA isn't totally uncalled for, right?" Pamela was nodding thoughtfully. Penny didn't share her next thought with her mother, which was how she might go absolutely insane if she had to wait until marriage to consummate the relationship.

"What else?" Pamela asked, encouraging her daughter to continue.

"Okay, well, it's not like we don't have anything in common. We do. But we both have our own interests and sometimes it's hard to merge them. And when he does participate in things I know he doesn't particularly care about, he doesn't try very hard to convince me he's not bored out of his mind. And he's really particular about what he eats. He's very much like Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. It can drive a girl crazy."

"Hmm, okay. What about the good things?" Pamela asked. "Surely there was some of those, right?"

"Well, yeah," Penny said, thinking about what brought them together. "He's completely vulnerable and he has no idea, which is so adorable and yet very...hot. He's an amazing kisser. And even though he doesn't say it much, I know he's attracted to me. The way he looks at me when he thinks I don't notice...it's just nice. He's so smart and he's always teaching me things. We have so much fun together, and not the kind of fun I have with anyone else. When it's good, it's so good-we have a groove together. We fit. We're like puzzle pieces. Our chemistry is so addictive."

Pamela smiled sadly. "Penny, from everything you've said about this Sheldon, it is obvious how in love with him you are. You owe it to yourself to find out if you can salvage whatever happened between the two of you. And as for knowing what he feels about the situation…there's only one way to find out."

"Yeah, I know," Penny said mournfully. "I'll call him tonight after I study. I have a feeling it's not going to be easy."

"Probably not, but at least you'll know where you stand. And from the way you just described all the good things about him, I'm pretty sure that would be a good thing to know."

Penny knew she was going to call Sheldon, and her mother knew she was going to call Sheldon, and probably even Sheldon somehow knew Penny was going to call him, but Penny was still uneasy. "What if I go back and we fix what was broken but everything stays the same as it was before? What if I find myself going through the motions again? I can't just come back here like a loser for a second time."

Pamela smiled. "Honey, you can come back here whenever you want, for no reason at all. Nobody will judge you, not here. Your brother's been in and out of jail his whole life, and your sister has her hands full with all those kids. We're all on different paths, but we're a family. Your father and I just want you to be happy."

"Thanks, Mom," Penny said, happy that at least someone in this world loved her unconditionally.

Three days before her exam, all Penny wanted to do was study before she made the phone call. But after going over the same paragraph on balance sheets for about an hour and failing miserably, Penny sighed and closed the textbook. She made a cup of tea and took her cell phone outside to make the call. She walked to the barn and sat down on the steps. Patrick, her favorite barn cat, ran over to greet her. Penny counted to three and made the call while giving Patrick his tummy scratches. She was mostly a dog person but sometimes a good kitty purr made her happy.

Sheldon answered on the first ring, and didn't even bother with formalities.

"Greetings, Penny," he said, and oh, wow, she couldn't even properly prepare for how much she missed his voice. Just hearing it made her completely forget what she was going to say.

"Oh! Sheldon, hello," she said. Well, that was a start. "Um, how's it going?"

"It's not 'going' anywhere. I am sitting perfectly still watching television. Are you currently in motion?" Well, he was still the same ol' Sheldon.

"No, Sheldon, I'm sitting here outside talking to you," Penny said, exasperated already.

"Hmm. I suppose you've come to a conclusion about the proposal Leonard spoke to you about?"

Wait…what? Penny was confused. So confused. "What? Sheldon, are you saying that you knew about Leonard coming to Nebraska to talk to me?"

"Of course I did. Who do you think asked him to go?" Sheldon sounded pleased with himself.

"Well, gee, let's see, I was under the impression that Leonard came on his own, since that's what he said and everything." Penny was getting annoyed. Typical.

"Yes, well, that was the plan. I wanted him to see what your reaction was if you didn't think I was involved. If you were to come here, I wanted you to do it because you wanted to, not because I asked you to."

Penny was shocked. This was, to say the least, not what she expected.

"So…you tricked me."

"Yes," Sheldon said simply. "So what have you decided?"

Gah! He was so infuriating sometimes...but Penny had to admit, he was kind of adorable. She was sure that an entire lifetime of this weird game they played wouldn't be so bad. Actually, it might be kind of fun. It would never be boring, that's for sure.

"That depends, I guess," she said. "I wanted to call to see how you would feel about me coming back. I didn't want to leave my family and go back to California, tail between my legs, if you were going to give me the cold shoulder."

"I can see why you'd come to that conclusion and I respect it," Sheldon replied. "However, I sent Leonard in my stead because, well, I just didn't want to know if you declined his offer. He was under strict instructions to not tell me any negative news."

"Oh?" Penny asked, smiling a little. "Why is that?"

"I don't know," Sheldon said, and Penny wondered if Sheldon ever actually admitted he didn't know something. "Perhaps it's because after much reflection, I've come to the conclusion that the feelings I've been experiencing lately are directly connected to missing you. And after speaking to Raj and Leonard and Howard, they informed me that most likely, if you didn't want to come back, I would be disappointed. They seemed to all agree that-what was it, Wolowitz?" Penny could vaguely hear Howard in the background. "Oh, that's right, I'm a better person when I'm with you."

More than anything, Penny wanted to believe everything he said. She knew this wasn't easy for him, but she couldn't help but feel a little, well...manipulated?

"Sheldon, that is amazing of you to say, thank you. But what if Raj and Howard and Leonard weren't there to guide you? I'm sorry, but I can't always be your relationship teacher. You're going to have to pick up on some of this stuff on your own. Do you understand?" It was harsh, but he needed to hear it.

Sheldon was quiet for a moment. "I understand what you are saying and I have no guarantees to offer you. All I know is what I have been able to gather from empirical data, which is the following: my work has suffered since you left, as well as my sleep pattern. Sometimes I wear my Sunday pajamas on Tuesday because I am not paying proper attention to my schedule. I'm aware that you moved back to Nebraska because you no longer had any career opportunities available to you, but I think that we can work this out together. As Leonard mentioned, we found a job for you. You can stay with Raj since your apartment has been rented. And if you are still so inclined, I would like to see if we can resume our romantic entanglement. That is, if you wish to move from Nebraska, of course. We all know your family is very important to you and none of us want to get in the way of that."

Okay...who was this guy and what did he do with Sheldon? Penny was stunned. Had she been underestimating him all this time, or did he really change this much since she'd been gone? And if she came home, would she be giving up all the hard work she did to move on from the person she was in California? She had so many questions. For a brief moment, Penny thought about asking Sheldon to move to Nebraska, instead. And even though she was somewhat sure he'd do it if she asked nicely, Penny knew he would hate it there. She didn't hate Pasadena; she was just sure it gave her all it had to offer. But she missed her friends, and she missed the weather, and she missed the ocean, and most of all, god, did she miss her Sheldon.

"Sheldon? Thank you for thinking so much about this, it really means a lot to me." Penny said, trying to keep the tears that were threatening to break out at bay. "But I need to think about this. My exams are in a few days, and I'll call you when I'm finished, okay?"

"I suppose that is acceptable," Sheldon said, sounding disappointed. "It is always important to do well in your studies."

"Thanks, sweetie. I'll call you soon," Penny said. They said their good-byes, and Penny hung up and stared at her phone. Patrick rubbed against her leg. She picked up the kitty and he purred. There really wasn't much of a decision to make. As determined as she had been to get away from the mess she left back in Pasadena, now all she wanted to do was get back into the fray.

She was sure going to miss Patrick, though.

*****

Sheldon was staring at his white board, trying to make sense of the equations scrawled on it. He was missing something, but he had no idea what. It was like a puzzle piece he misplaced in his brain somewhere, and it was absolutely infuriating. His career was in stasis, and he had no idea how to get it back on track. Something was going to have to give soon, because he was running out of the money in his savings and a new job was not forthcoming.

Behind him, the door opened. Sheldon sighed with relief and said, "Leonard! Thank god you're home; I need a break from this godforsaken equation."

"Well, I know a few ways to distract you," said a voice that did not belong to Leonard. Although he knew Penny was coming back eventually, he was still pleasantly surprised. He missed her so much, and now she was here.

Sheldon quickly turned around and there she was. Penny. In all her glory. Sheldon was prepared to feel any number of ways when he saw her for the first time since she left, but all of those turned to mush when he saw Penny's smile again. Ridiculous, he was aware, but by no means surprising. She was the only woman in the world who could make him feel this way, and he loved that about her.

"You're here," Sheldon said, trying to gather enough nerve to do what he'd been wanting to do since the moment she left. But he couldn't seem to make himself move from where he was standing.

"I am," Penny said, smiling. She didn't move, either.

"Well...how did you do on your exams?"

Penny laughed. "I aced them, actually. My creative writing professor said I should look into continuing my education. I told him that I had someone waiting for me back home who will help me with that. So...is that true? Is someone waiting for me at home?"

Sheldon barely recognized himself anymore. He had no idea what he was doing with his career or his love life or really his sense of self, period. All he knew was that Penny stood before him, vulnerable and strong, beautiful and smart, and waiting for him. There were no guarantees they'd make it work this time, but Sheldon didn't care. Just the two of them at this moment was more than enough for him. So before he could answer her question, Sheldon quickly found the strength to make his way to Penny and gave her a real, actual hug. It was different from the Christmas hug when he was so ecstatic about owning a Spock napkin, different from the laundry room hug when she said she'd talk to Leonard about going to Switzerland, different from all the other hugs he halfheartedly gave her through the years. This was a hug that encompassed all the episodes of Doctor Who they watched together while Leonard was gone, while their friendship grew stronger and stronger over the summer, not to mention the trip to the hospital and their respective dramatic break-ups and everything in between. A hug that represented all the kisses they exchanged when Sheldon barely knew what he was doing. A hug for the last six months they missed together because they were too stubborn to admit their real feelings. Sheldon loved Penny, and now it was time to prove it.  
"Yes. I've been waiting for a long time," Sheldon said, wanting to kiss her with everything in his soul. "Do you think we can give this another shot?"

Penny looked just as conflicted as he was, but she said, "I think we can. I think it would be pretty great. And I think we can help each other out. I think we owe it to ourselves to try."

And then they kissed, and it was everything Sheldon had missed and wanted for months. They were going to figure this out, and finally get it right. Hopefully.

*****

_A few years later..._

Sheldon was always stepping on Lego. Always. It used to annoy him, but now he was just resigned to it. Besides, Rose's latest project was building a Lego Deathstar. He was more proud of his daughter than annoyed.

Sheldon had just made himself a sandwich and came into the living room (after stepping on a Lego in the kitchen and cursing under his breath) to join the rest of his little family. It was a normal day in the Cooper household. Penny was sitting on the couch with her laptop while also managing to keep Bartholomew, their two year old golden retriever, from eating Stephen's GI Joe. Rose was hard at work with the Lego. Sometimes when Sheldon walked in a room and saw these people, some of whom he helped create, he had no idea how he ended up in this life. Not that he would trade it for anything. It was just, for the longest time, his only care in the world was his career, his work, his contribution to the scientific community. But ever since he won the Nobel Prize for physics, those things weren't as important anymore. Coming home to a full house of this life he couldn't imagine...six year old Rose and her endless thirst for knowledge, three year old Stephen, who was already determined to be the class clown even at his young age, and beautiful, amazing, brilliant, unfailing optimist Penny. She was the rock of his life when he didn't even know he needed one. She was his other half. Even after all these years, they were still teaching each other new things every day. And...the sex was amazing.

It took a few months for Penny and Sheldon to find their rhythm again when she got back to Pasadena, but once they did, they never lost it. Sure, they'd have the usual disagreements, but they were always able to talk their way through it. And although Penny didn't have a magical answer to Sheldon's career rut, she helped guide him to the solution he ultimately came to--after some soul searching, Sheldon figured out that teaching was the path he wanted to take. The thought of such things used to repel him, but with Penny's guidance, it felt like the right thing to do. And while Penny met with Mandy's roommate and started the process of becoming a writer, Sheldon was there by her side.

Meanwhile, the intimacy got more...intimate, although they would ultimately wait until their wedding night to do the actual deed. Everything was just easier. It was like Penny and Sheldon just accepted the fact that they were going to do whatever they needed to do to stay together, and it worked. Penny went to Texas to meet Meemaw, who obviously loved her to pieces but wanted Penny to eat more mashed potatoes because she was "so skinny!" Sheldon went to Nebraska and bonded with Penny's father over their shared knowledge of guns. Sheldon grew up in Texas, after all. Things got serious, and after a year and a half of becoming each other's everything, Sheldon got down on one knee in the produce aisle of the grocery store. It wasn't the most romantic of places and it certainly wasn't the cleanest of places (he took a very long shower that day), but he thought it was appropriate given their many excursions to the store together.

Their wedding was on a beach in Malibu, which obviously Penny had to spend many hours talking Sheldon into. But they both knew he'd do anything for her, and eventually he agreed-only if he could say his vows in Klingon. Penny reluctantly acquiesced to this request, because he was a huge nerd and she loved him. Raj was still ordained and had the honor of officiating the ceremony. It had been perfect, and even Sheldon would have admitted that. And a few hours later, in their hotel room? Penny finally showed Sheldon a world he had missed out on for entirely too long, and so many things started to make sense to him. Needless to say, they didn't get out of the room much during their honeymoon, and Rose came along nine months later, and Stephen a few years later. They had a deal, by the way-Penny got to name the first kid and Sheldon got the second one. Both their children had dark hair like Sheldon, but Penny's green eyes and long lashes. They were, of course, adorable.

Penny's writing career didn't happen all at once. It was slow going for a year or two, but after a respected book critic got a hold of it and had nothing but praise for Penny's novel, everything started happening. Although being an actress was what she dreamed of practically all her life, Penny found that being an author suited her. She just finished number three and was starting to think about the next one. Her novels were a mixture of comedy, romance, and adventure. They were a huge hit.

With the money from the Nobel Prize and Penny's books, they could afford a relatively nice home in Austin, where they ultimately decided to settle down. Sheldon wanted to get back to his Texas roots and Penny liked the culture (and the food) in Austin.

Sheldon sat down next to Penny on their way too expensive couch and tried to eat his sandwich in peace. Just five minutes of peace, maybe? Was that too much to ask?

"Daddy!" Stephen said excitedly, and climbed in Sheldon's lap. Bartholomew decided this was a good time to jump on the couch to join the fun, and sent Penny's laptop soaring to the floor. Thankfully it did not shatter into a million pieces...this time. Rose looked at the scene and rolled her eyes, choosing to keep her distance like the "cool" six year old she was.

Penny and Sheldon exchanged a glance that was becoming very common around their household, one that basically said, "What did we get ourselves into?" with some "What would we do without them?" added in.

"Rose, can you take your brother to his room and play for a few minutes? Daddy and I need some alone time," Penny asked her daughter.

Rose rolled her eyes again. "Fine," she said. "Come on, Stephen." She grabbed her brother by the arm and dragged him to his room, where they would probably watch Frozen for the 87th time or something. Sheldon didn't really want his children to be ruled by TV, but he did have to admit, it was an easy solution when he wanted to spend a little time with his wife.

Penny scooted closer to Sheldon and put her head on his shoulder. It was nice; their lives were so busy, they hardly ever had a free minute or two to just...sit.

"How's the book coming along?" Sheldon asked.

"Slowly," Penny admitted. "I know everything I want to say, it's just finding the time to write it."  
Sheldon nodded. He was trying to write a paper as well. In Austin, he had found working as a physics professor at UT quite fulfilling, but still wanted to find time for his own projects.

"Well, I received an email from Leonard this morning. He and Mandy will be coming for our anniversary party next month," Sheldon said.

"Oh! Well, that'll be fun," Penny replied, and she wasn't even being sarcastic. Leonard was much easier to be around now that he was married. It mellowed him out, took the pressure off. Plus, Bernadette and Howard and Raj and his new girlfriend were coming, as well. They all tried to get together once a year, but it was obviously getting more and more difficult.

Penny noticed Sheldon's empty plate and said, "How was your sandwich?"

"I wouldn't know; Bartholomew ate it after he almost broke your laptop." Sheldon was not exactly a dog person, but he knew Penny had wanted one ever since she left Nebraska.

"Aww! Come on, I'll make you another one." Sheldon followed Penny into the kitchen. She always made the best sandwiches. They talked about their day as Penny got out all the ingredients, and Sheldon again pondered how, many years ago, this kind of conversation, this kind of life baffled him. And maybe all his experiences in life, or lack thereof, had all come together to make this one possible.

"Come here," Sheldon said, as Penny was putting the finishing touches on the sandwich. She grinned, and he pulled her into a deep, promising kiss. After the kids went to bed, they'd make something happen. Probably. If one of them didn't fall asleep first.

"Love you," he said.

"Love you," she said, and then there was more kissing. This was their life, and they'd never have to go through the motions again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Well...here it is! I had no intentions of taking so long to finish and I am so sorry, thank you so much for your patience. Thanks to everyone who came along for the ride. I admit, the last couple of chapters were not what I planned to do from the beginning, but this is what happened and I'm okay with that. Thanks for reading and reviewing, and you are all the wind beneath my wings.**
> 
> **P.S. Sorry to those of you disappointed that I didn't go into the sexy times in detail, but believe me, I have written my fair share of Shenny sexy times if you want to check out my other stories. I just wanted to keep this one PG-13.**


End file.
